A Tale Of True Calamity

Goozma, Draedon's Monitor and Noxus

[Goozma Spawns]

Alisha: This is time to defeat the true Slime Deity.

Goozma: Oh, Okay.

Alisha: Die.

Goozma: Dead.

[Goozma died.]

Draedon's Monitor: What a nice day.

Alisha: DIE MACHINE

Draedon's Monitor: AAAAAA-

Alisha: *shooting so much*

Draedon's Monitor: Welp, I'm Dead.

[Draedon's Monitor dies]

[Noxus Spawns]

Noxus: What the total fuck happened here?

Alisha: Fuck you.

Noxus: *already dead*

Alisha: Easy.

[Noxus Defeated]

Loot: 150 Auric Ore, Gelatinous Core, 22 Ionized Gel

Gear: 

Alisha: Legendary Leviathan's Tsunami Sword, Godly Leviathan Tsunami Razor Yoyo, Legendary Leviathan Tenebreus Tides, Legendary Leviathan's Abyss Crusher, Leviathan Scale Armor, Menacing Elemental Gauntlet, Menacing The Community, Menacing Draedon's Heart, Menacing Aquatic Heart, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing Strange Orb (Lore Item: Leviathan and Anahita | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Aussie: Legendary Kitsune's Inferno Sword, Godly Kitsune Infernal Spike Yoyo, Legendary Kitsune Infernal Halberd, Legendary Kitsune Hell Breaker, Kitsune Fur Armor, Menacing Elemental Gauntlet, Menacing Celestial Shell, Menacing Yoyo Bag, Menacing Nebulous Core, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing Draedon's Heart (Lore Item: Brimstone Elemental | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Momo: Legendary Ark of the Elements, Legendary The Oracle, Legendary Dragon Pow, Legendary Exoblade, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Elemental Gauntlet, Menacing Celestial Shell, Menacing Yoyo Bag, Menacing Nebulous Core, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing Draedon's Heart (Lore Item: Skeletron Prime | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Delta: Unreal Heavenly Gale, Unreal Dragon's Breath, Unreal Chicken Cannon, Unreal Photoviscerator, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Elemental Quiver, Menacing Asgardian Aegis, Menacing Reaper Tooth Necklace, Menacing Core of the Blood God, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing The Sponge, Dynamo Stem Cells (Lore Item: King Slime | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia | Ammo: Vanquisher Arrows, Bloodfire Arrows, Holy Fire Bullets)

Luna: Unreal Heavenly Gale, Unreal Dragon's Breath, Unreal Chicken Cannon, Unreal Photoviscerator, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Elemental Quiver, Menacing Asgardian Aegis, Menacing Reaper Tooth Necklace, Menacing Core of the Blood God, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing The Sponge, Dynamo Stem Cells (Lore Item: The Brain of Cthulhu | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia | Ammo: Vanquisher Arrows, Bloodfire Arrows, Holy Fire Bullets)

Madden: Mythical Yharim's Crystal, Mythical Voltaic Climax, Demonic Void Vortex, Mythical Hadopelagic Echo, Mythical Subsuming Vortex, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Ethereal Talisman, Menacing Rampart of Deities, Menacing Core of the Blood God, Menacing Reaper Tooth Necklace, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing Sigil of Calamitas (Lore Item: The Eater of Worlds | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Alex: Ruthless Cosmic Immaterializer, Ruthless Staff of the Mechworm, Ruthless Pole Warper, Ruthless Yharon's Kindle Staff, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Nucleogenesis, Menacing Statis' Curse, Menacing Godly Soul Artifact, Menacing Profaned Soul Artifact, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing The First Shadowflame (Lore Item: Calamitas Clone | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Stella: Ruthless Cosmic Immaterializer, Ruthless Staff of the Mechworm, Ruthless Pole Warper, Ruthless Yharon's Kindle Staff, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Nucleogenesis, Menacing Statis' Curse, Menacing Godly Soul Artifact, Menacing Profaned Soul Artifact, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing The First Shadowflame (Lore Item: Calamitas Clone | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Ari: Flawless Celestus, Flawless Supernova, Flawless Plasma Grenades, Flawless Illustrious Knives, Auric Tesla Armor, Menacing Nanotech, Menacing Venerated Locket, Menacing Eclipse Mirror, Menacing Dragon Scales, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing Core of the Blood God (Lore Item: The Twins | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Zephyroz: You know what he has already.

Benicio: Mother Nature's Xenium Staff, Mother Nature's Xenomite Staff, Mother Nature's Xenomite Canister, Mother Nature's Spirit Wyvern in a Bottle, Mother Nature's Starbound World Stave (Upgraded), Shade Armor, Menacing Archmage's Enchantment, Menacing Druid's Emblem, Menacing The Sponge, Menacing The Amalgam, Menacing Druid's Mutagen, Menacing Last Burden, Menacing Master Druid's Charm (Lore Item: Ravager | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

Water: Unbound Fantasy, Dream Catcher, Lucidity, Dream Weaver Armor, Menacing Apothecary's Cyan Vial, Menacing Apothecary's Scarlet Vial, Menacing Archdemon's Curse,Menacing Archangel's Heart, Menacing Dark Heart, Menacing Equalizer, Menacing Life Quartz Shield (Lore Item: Ravager | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)

David: Fabled Sousaphone, Fabled The Set, Fabled Edge of Imagination, Fabled Holophonor, Fabled Black MIDI, Rhapsodist Armor, Engrossing Musician's Handbook, Engrossing Metal Music Player, Engrossing Cork Grease, Engrossing Epic Mouthpiece, Engrossing Full Score, Engrossing Guitar Pick Claw, Engrossing Devil's Subwoofer (Lore Item: Polterghast | Wings: Drew's Wings, Soaring Insignia)