Queen of the Rogues

of stories and visits

with your eyes wide open,
take it all in,
breathe it all in

M A D D I E ♛

I stirred in my sleep, but then my eyes immediately opened when I realized that I was beside someone. I was ready to jump and to fight, but I relaxed when I saw Chase.

Right, we're in Cassian's pack. We're at home.

It was unusually cold and I remembered that we were a bit up north from the usual climate of the southern pack and also because Chase opened the window before we went to sleep last night.

Chase was still asleep, his arms wrapped around me as if I was going to escape, I was planning to anyways. I didn't know what time it was, but I had a feeling that it's already late. I tried not to move much because Chase was probably still tired.

After all, he's been busy trying to track the movements of the Council.

My thoughts drifted to all that happened yesterday and how unreal it was, but it's real. All of it.

Even being here with Chase, it's all real.

My mother said that she was going to take me around the pack today and show me some places. She was going to take me home to our house where I was when I was a baby, before I was parted from them.

Strangely enough, speak with them felt natural. Of course, there was a bit of unsureness, we were always wondering what right words to say, careful not to hurt each other too much with the wrong words.

They asked me how I survived as a rogue for so long and my mother could only cry as she imagined how I lived alone. It was only then that I realized that to others, it may have been considered the perfect sob story, but to me it was... my life.

It was hard, that's for a fact, but was it sad? I don't particularly have an opinion.

My father asked if I ever took someone's life and as much I hated to answer yes, it was the truth. It was the only way to survive.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Madeline. If only-- if only we never stopped looking you wouldn't have to dirty your hands." he said full of regret, shame and guilt.

I had to assure both of them that I grew up fine, that I grew up fighting for my life and so they didn't have to worry about me.

Just as I was recalling everything that happened yesterday, Chase moved and I turned to see if he was awake or not.

Surely enough, he peeked an eye open, but then pretended to close it again. This guy, really.

"Chase, wake up." I say and slowly tried to take his arms off of me, but he put them back, enclosing me towards him and now I knew that he really was awake.

"Just... a bit more." he asks and I stayed in place for a while. At this point, I had gotten used to the beating of my heart and the sparks that were there whenever we touched.

As Kasen said, you really get used to it, however, you get used to it in a way that you crave it when it's gone and that alone was dangerous.

Finally deciding that it's been too long, I got up to sit up. I looked over to my side where Chase yawned and opened his eyes.

"Wake up, pack wolf." I tell him and get up from the bed to prepare for the day.

♛

Chase was pitifully left behind the pack house to work on the papers that he brought with him. He explained how he was behind some paperwork and that he didn't want to interrupt my time with my family.