Queen of the Rogues

of escape and rest

my minds betrays me because i still think of you

C H A S E ♔

In the morning, I stared at the ceiling above me and I thought of what I was doing currently until Owen or Kasen barged in my room to wake me up.

When I forced myself out of bed, I drowned myself in work until my mother barged in and forced me to eat and to make her happy, I did.

During the day, I buried myself in my tasks and the things that I needed to get done. Visiting the area that had complaints over filth contamination, fixing an issue regarding our lack of weapons, training with the pack warriors and so on and on.

I made myself as busy as I could so as not to have idle thoughts, but at the end of the day when I had to visit the encampment of the rogues, I couldn't help but think of Maddie.

It had been three weeks since she left me at Cassian's pack to try and avenge a rogue that died under the attack of Strays. I wanted to say I was angry at her, but I couldn't. I was too worried for that.

However, it was her choice and who was I to go against that?

Right when I met her, I knew Maddie wasn't one that can easily be bound in pack borders, in shackles and heck even relationships.

She was strong and independent and she knew that. But I just... I just wished that she would've thought of me before she rushed in any decisions.

Truthfully, I did feel betrayed because in some way, I thought she felt the same as me. I couldn't bear to lose her, I thought she would've felt the same. I guess not.

The mate bond has been very painful lately, but it was bearable. One of the only remedies I had was visiting the room that she occupied when she was in the pack house. The room was still filled with her scent and it helped a little, but I know that can't last forever.

Another problem arose when people started asking where Maddie was. The pack wolves were concerned about their Luna. It was high time for her to accept the position, but now she's gone.

In the beginning, they were very understanding of the fact that she was a rogue and I knew how hard that was for them. Some of the pack families have lost family members because of rogue attacks and to accept a Luna who was a rogue was hard.

All the more, the encampment of rogues was a hard thing to accept for some pack wolves. Some were not too comfortable with the idea. They understood that they are Maddie's people, but that didn't mean they would be very accepting of them.

Just the other day I had to talk to a pup who threw rocks at the encampment and screamed "Strays go away" at them.

A minority of them have requested to have them kicked out and although I understood where they were coming from, I couldn't do that.

I heard from Kasen that she asked a favour to keep them here until she came back for them. And plus, I wasn't too heartless as to let a group of people without protection just out into the woods where they were clearly targeted.

I sighed and leaned my head against the chair and stared at the ceiling. I found myself back at square one.

I closed my eyes and regretted it because she was the one I saw. Her fiery red hair that was as fierce as her, her emerald eyes that always seemed to calm me down and her smile.

And then the questions start to come.

Would I ever see you again?