Trinket (Reverse Harem)

Cat-Bird Special

"Because what if I'm not special?" I replied.

"Theia."

"Look, everyone is chasing around like I'm special," I said. "I've never been special. I thought... like with Tynn, I thought he loved me. And I was scared of him making me special, you know? Like then I become the Lady of the house one day, and I knew his mother would hate it, and you know. Then there was Asund, and I thought for a moment that... but he had some cruel things to say about it." I take a deep breath and let it out. "Then I get to Haven, and it's a lot of lost hippocamp princess."

He nods soberly.

I touch Korr's shoulder. "Every house servant learns that if you act like you're special, maybe you'll get away with it for a while, but not forever. It's not a good idea to think you're special. Because you're not. This lost princess... I mean, people get upset about these three making me their pet, but it wasn't like that, not really. They were using it as an excuse to keep me away from the ravens who were interested in me, but it's not like I minded most of the time."

Eaon nods again.

I shrug, tracing the pattern of Korr's scales. "It's also not like I had any better thoughts in my head, or any other options. They're here right now because they—and me, I guess—wanted to figure out the mystery of Asund, and they sort of had it in their heads I might be your lost princess. But I'm not your lost princess. Nobody knows what I am. Everything's gotten so bad and all we did was go looking for a guy who had been a jerk to me, and trying to figure out if I was a lost princess.

"I didn't even want to be the lost princess," I say softly. "I was afraid. I don't want to know now. I don't want to be special. Being special just puts a target on you. Just means someone's going to get hurt for you. I don't want to go on some grand adventure to find out who or what I really am. I just don't care. I care about my consorts. They're Ambassadors and Captains and looks like future Kings. Ormiss is telling me I could well end up Queen one day and our children will be heirs. It doesn't matter what I am or how I got this way, my life is a total mess and I don't need to keep poking at it."

"But your consorts are Ambassadors and Captains and Ormiss," Eaon said. "The gods didn't do that by accident. Don't you want to know why?"

I thought I had, but now? I keep tracing Korr's scales. Itek watches from his place, but doesn't move. "We're all here like this because of me. You asked why I'm not interested in being special? This is why."

"But you realize you are."

"Maybe," I tell him. "I mean, my magical spine's been broken, right? Something really strange happened to me as a kid. Maybe I can't be special anymore. And that'd be the worst, I think. If we go see the Pantere Priestess of Dreams and she tells me everything about my past but, well, too broken now, go home."

Eaon grips my chin and turns my head to look at my scars, then tells me. "That's fair. But what if you can't be special, but your children could be? No magic destroys what you are except this corruption that's destroying everything. You can't be unmade."

"What do you mean?"

"If you are, for example, a wolf shifter. Even if you can't shift anymore, you're still a wolf shifter here." He pokes his finger into my stomach.

I put my hand over my belly. "You mean my babies?"

Eaon nodded. "Some great magic was wrought to do something to you as a child. Maybe you were hidden, maybe you were imprisoned, who knows? Maybe you are broken and you will never be able to manifest what you are, but your children?" He raised his brows.