Married to the Northerner

11

I woke up to a dark room, a few candles providing dim light. It felt as if I survived death and came back, with the aching in my head and body. I remembered everything and was quite anxious of whether everyone knows the truth now.

I slowly get up, a tiny moan escaping my lips as the blanket falls to my waist. I'm wearing a sleeveless nightgown and it seems that my cut has been bandged by steralized clothing.

Through my side vision, I see a figure sitting uncomfortably on a chair. The tall figure is hunched as strands of his hair fall on his face. The slight snores let me know that he is sleeping.

Holding the candle that lays beside my I shine it on his face to reveal my suspicions of the mysterious man being my husband. There seems to be light bags under his eyes, making me wonder how long I've been unconscious.

Although my body feels sore, my fever seems to pass along with the dizziness. I see Nathaniel move his body slightly and feel guilt for his uncomfortable position.

Grabbing one of the many plush pillows on the bed along with a blanket, I take it to my husband. I try not to make any noises as I walk quietly, knowing he needs this sleep.

I felt a twinge in my heart, guilt for making him worried but another new feeling, so strange and scary, yet so comfortable. Although he is my husband, can it be love that I'm feeling so soon.

I carefully lay the blanket and lift his head slightly to place the pillow. I let out a breath of relief knowing he is still sleeping peacefully.

I turned around or walked back to my bed when a hand grabbed my waist and I let out a scream of pure horror and fell onto my bed. Completely panicking and having horrible flashbacks, I try to punch or slap the intruder away only for him to hold my wrists and place my arms above my head.

"Please don't hurt me. Please stop. Please I'm begging you!"

"Avani, it's me, please snap out of it. It's Nathaniel, you husband. I'm not going to hurt you."

The pressure leaving my arms gave me a sense of relief before I opened my eyes. Before I could see him, I felt him and the calmness of my husband's voice seemed to slow down the quick beating of my heart.

I wiped the tears and pulled myself away from him in embarrassment. Deep down I knew only Nathaniel had access to this room, yet I felt so scared.

I felt a weight on the other side of the bed as my husband looked at me with a worried glance. I felt like a sob would escape me once again, so I grabbed a jug of water and drank it greedily.

"Avani, as your husband, it is my duty to ask you this. Have- have you ever been raped?"

I choked on the water I was drinking and coughed violently at his question. I knew the answer to this and truthfully responded.

"No."

"Avani the truth please."

"Why would I lie about such a thing."

"I fear you prioritize your reputation over your being. I am your husband, if anything like this happened to you there is no need to feel ashamed. You have done nothing wrong, as the person who assaulted you committed that grave sin."

Tears filled my eyes once again at the true words of my husband. He said it so calmly yet an anger behind his voice, directed at those heartless monsters.

"I was attacked but never raped. I was one of the few lucky ones who were able to escape."

"Did your step father not punish this man?"

How was I to tell my husband that he was the one who set it up. After a horrid beating, I tripped while serving food and spilled soup on the King's cloak. Despite the already healing bruises, new ones were added that day.

I expected that my torture would end there, just to find a middle aged guard in my room, looking at me with lust in his eyes.

I tried to escape his evil clutches as his hands ripped my clothing and wandered around my body. My screams and pleas for help seemed to fall deaf in the ears of those who resided in the castle.

Just then, my step father walked in and stabbed the assaulter on his back, and I didn't know whether being nearly raped or having a man killed on top of me was more traumatizing.

"Avani?"

I snap out of those awful memories, wiping the tears that fell down my face. I felt a shiver pass by me, and held down the sob that escaped.

"My step father punished the man, by death."

It wasn't entirely the truth, but also wasn't a lie. My step father did kill the man who nearly raped me, but he was also the one to set it up in the first place.

After a moment of silence passes by us, I expect him to leave, but instead he takes my arm and traces his finger over the bandages. I wasn't enthusiastic about where our next conversation was heading towards, but I knew there was no escaping his questions this time.

"Avani, I knew there was a chance you may not be interested in this marriage, but I never thought that you may have loved another man. Did you-"

He struggled to say the next few words. Despite our different cultures and upbringings, a bride for a king is expected to be a virgin; pure and untouched. Now he wants to know if it was the opposite for me.

"I did indeed run away, but not for another man"

My voice held no emotions and his face seemed to relax a bit. In a matter of seconds, he tensed up again.

"Did your father do this?"

"Step-father, and yes."

"This because of our marriage proposal, right? The doctor said the cut is a few weeks old, and I assume that's when the news of our arrangement was received."

"There were various other reasons behind it, but this marriage arrangement triggered it. The rumours I heard of you, were sending shivers down my spine and I was truly scared for my future with you. Now I know that you are nothing like those rumours, at least to me."

" Why don't you rest. I have some duties to attend to in the meantime and make sure the mark is hidden from the eyes of others.."

He completely ignored my words and stood up from the bed, leaving the room. Although I didn't pour my heart out to him, I finally opened up a bit and this is how he reacts to it, by running away.

I felt furious and couldn't control the tears that streamed down my face. For the first time, these were of anger, not sadness, pain, or embarrassment.

The silence enveloped me and I felt my eyes close themselves and feel myself succumb to slumber. Reviving these horrid memories and talking about them nonetheless, was exhausting to my soul.