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Chapter 75

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I jolted as if deafening thunder boomed right overhead

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I jolted as if deafening thunder boomed right overhead. The moment my gaze landed on him, every cell within my body cracked awake as if white-hot lightning razed through my veins. My body went lax and taut, and heat and cold flushed my skin all at once. My heart raced as a myriad of conflicting emotions fluttered beneath my skin, skittish and wild like delicate wings of moths fluttering against glass. Not even my heaviest of crushes had made me feel so alive, and react as intensely as Varen Crowther. Godsdammit!

I was distantly aware of the thud of a soccer ball being kicked, followed by gales of laughter and cheers of encouragement, but my entire being was wholly ensnared by the man I'd just spotted through a curved window pane as he climbed a spiral staircase within the Deniauds' mansion.

Two days ago, when Varen had left the Deniauds' for good, I'd been instructed by Mr. Volkov to pack his belongings and send them back to their owner. I'd stood alone in the guest bedroom, inhaling the scent of anise and masculinity, silently cursing myself for the way my throat thickened. I'd left abruptly, asking the Purcell sisters to take over for me. In the hallway outside the room, I'd slumped against the wall, blinking back miserable tears, trying to suppress the sense of loss and being cheated out of a man who liked me just as much as I liked him. I tried to convince myself that this was best for both of us. That he'd forget me soon enough and eventually marry someone from his own rank. I'd fully expected never to see Varen Crowther again.

How freaking wrong was I?

There he was, right behind Mei Purcell, with a formidable stride and an equally formidable glare. The ends of his wild hair brushed against broad shoulders encased in black armor that embraced his body like a second skin. Like parched earth, I drank in that big, brawny body I'd wrapped myself around in a dark stairwell, my fingers clutching packed muscle as he had showed me just how much he liked me with that hardness pressed against my stomach and his kisses shifting from sweet to dark and fierce.

I silently cursed myself for how quickly heat and want had pooled in my lower belly and molton pleasure brushed down my spine at the memory of him grinding up against me, how the cold wall had dug into my spine. Glorious...

"Did you hear anything I was saying?"

I blinked, startled out of my thoughts. Oddly, I swayed from side to side, strangely lightheaded.

Oswin stood in front of me. He suddenly lurched forward to grab hold of my arm and steady me. His red-tipped nose was scrunched and his blotchy cheeks were rounded as he eyed me with concern. "Are you even breathing?"

Holy Zrenyth, I'm not.

I sucked in a lungful of freezing autumnal air, and then another, gasping to catch my breath. All the while, I rapidly slapped the flat of my hand against my chest as if that would help me take in more oxygen.

Oswin tilted his head and frowned. "Are you alright?"

In truth, I didn't know what I was feeling right at this moment. Excitement. Anger. Worry. Despair. Annoyance. Nervousness. Completely freaking turned on! Everything was a conflicting tangle and I desperately tried to shy away from the truth that buzzed with warmth beneath it all. Pleased—if I were being honest.

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