Distraction || BWWM

|23| Distraction

Sienna::Clark

I went home that night feeling a little happier than usual.
I want to tell Raye so bad, but I can't tell a single soul about what happened between Justin and I an hour ago.
We talked about everything I've been feeling and everything he's been feeling since we first met. It was such a relief to know that I no longer had to hold in what I wasn't supposed to let out. Although part of me was still iffy on if Justin and I should really be an item.

~An hour Ago~

"Did that answer your question?" Justin asked pulling away from my lips. I slowly opened my eyes to look into his. "Yes and no" I grinned. "Only because I'm still not sure how this...we are going to work together now."
Justin nodded and sat back into the couch, holding my hand.
"You working with me would be the same as it was before, just now we'll be kissing each other and I'll be holding you every chance I get." He smiled.

Then I thought to myself, how is this even possible? How did we just skip a whole discussion on where we stood as Sienna and Justin?
I let his words marinate in the air for a moment. It did seem nice that I could potentially have someone to kiss me and hold me. Especially, since I haven't been held in a while.

"Justin?" I spoke, he looked at me with his brown eyes, making me nervous to speak. "First off I just wanna say that you doing all that boyfriend stuff to me sounds great, but that can only work if you're actually my boyfriend."
He just stared at me as if I was crazy.
"You know like you have to ask me out instead of assuming I'm automatically yours." I grinned hoping he'd say something other than making me feel stupid.

"So what I'm hearing is that you, Sienna Clark, would like to be my girlfriend?"
I scrunched my nose a bit, "more or less. I'm just saying a lot of guys just assume that because they're talking to a girl constantly that automatically makes them their girlfriend when that's not the case."
Justin nodded his head, "So does that mean that you want me to ask you out?"
"Hypothetically, yes."

Part of me still didn't want to be with Justin and the other part was telling me to take a leap, to live a life many people may never have.

"I'm scared." I blurted out a thought. Justin's eyebrows rose, "What do you mean?"
"I didn't mean to say that, don't mind it." I tried to brush it off.
"No tell me. What are you scared of?"

I shook my head and thought to myself that maybe I should just quit right here and now.  Quitting seems to be the best thing to do right now. It always seems like the best thing to do.
"Sienna?" Justin gently grabbed my chin to make me look at him. "What are you scared of?"

"Your life." I pushed his hand down away from my face. "The thought of cameras, yelling, and constant invasion of privacy scares me."
"I understand, like I said before it does get easier as time goes on. You either start to care more or care less about how the media portrays you."
"I'm the type of person who cares about how I look like in the public eye. That's the only thing that's really holding me back from actually thinking you and me can be a thing."

All Justin did was nod as if  he wasn't fully listening to me in that moment.  He just looked down at our hands that were intertwined with one another.

"So you're worried that people are going to judge you for being my assistant and going out with me?" He spoke.
"Yeah that's one of the reasons." I let out an awkward chuckle.
"What's the main reason?"  He asked me, I let out a sigh. "Uh...I'm black. For some reason I feel like I catch no ones eye and it's because I'm not like everyone else."
Justin pulled me into a hug and held me tight. "Don't think that, you're beautiful and I'm not saying that because I have a crush on you. I genuinely mean that. The way you look shouldn't matter, if I like you and want to take care of you that's all that matters. Okay?"

"Okay." I say muffled. "Thank you." I smiled as he released me from his hold. "You're welcome." Justin said as he kissed my cheek.
"Now back tracking to this whole boyfriend and girlfriend situation. I'm not going to let you feel out of place even if you are. I for sure won't let anyone talk down on you, I'll always have your back." Justin smiles. "I'll make you feel loved even if you think no one else will love you. I'll be there for you and all your needs. Sienna I got you."
Justin then grabbed my other hand and looked me in both of my eyes. "Sienna will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, but I know there's rules to this so what are they?"
"Hm, just don't cheat and we're all good and of course the same rules goes for me as well." He said with a grin. Justin then cupped my face and kissed me. All that went through my head was "I'm Justin Bieber's assistant and girlfriend." Never in a million years I'd thought I'd see myself in this position.

"Get home safe and I'll see you tomorrow." He have me a peck on the lips before standing up. He walked me all the way out to my car and watched me until I left from his driveway.

~present~

I walked into the quiet apartment. Raye must've been out with someone because she'd usually have random nosies going on around the house. It was actually nice that she wasn't there to hound me for once and this also gave me time to just think about my life.
I was now dating Justin Bieber and the whole world may potentially find out sooner or later.

~••••••••••••~
October 19, 2020
Words: 1034