One Hot Summer (boyxboy)

Chapter 50: Staying quiet

"I'm not some high school girl you can have your way with!"
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Jasper isn't too far behind Thomas and just manages to reach the top of the stairs to see him disappear into his new room, opposite Jasper's soon to be vacant one.

He wastes no time in approaching the closed door, tapping on it lightly. "Tom... Tom. Please let me in." Jasper whisper shouts through the heavy wood of the door receiving no response.

He knocks again. "Tom...please." His voice a little louder this time.

''Go away Jasper!" The voice replies deep and clear, making Jasper sense a slight apprehension as to whether he should keep on trying. But he knew he must.

"Let me in Tom!" Jasper tries to match the authoritative voice of the older male, which seems to work as footsteps pad across the floorboards to open the door.

"It doesn't have a fucking lock you idiot!" Thomas huffs as he opens the creaky door to reveal a confused Jasper. "So...what do you need to say which you couldn't say earlier?" Thomas folds his arms, waiting for a response.

Jasper pushes Thomas back into the room and closes the door behind him. He grabs the older's shirt, trying to pull him closer into a kiss, just managing a brush of the lips before being pushed away.

"What the fuck Jasper!" Thomas is breathless as he runs a hand through his own hair. Jasper tries again, but this time doesn't get close as Thomas is ready for it. He pushes Jasper hard, with him landing on the floor on his bottom. "You can't just come in here and start to do that." Thomas moves further away from the younger, walking around to the other side of the bed.

"I'm trying to say sorry!" Jasper shouts angrily as he gets back onto his feet, equally breathless.

Thomas looks at Jasper stood the other side of the single bed. "Jasper you seriously need to use your words more. I'm not some high school girl you can have your way with...I..." Thomas trails off, looking down at the floor.

"You're what?" Jasper asks, the anger subsiding a little.

Thomas looks Jasper in the eyes. "I thought we loved eachother...but you just threw me under a bus Jasper...again!"

Jasper looks to the ceiling. His hands on his hips. He takes a heavy sigh and closes his eyes, thinking how he can best be honest. How he can articulate his thoughts and feelings into words. "How old were you when you realised?"

Thomas looks at Jasper, confusion on his face. "What do you mean, realised?"

"That you are gay. That you like boys, men, whatever?" Jasper now hands waving in the air, getting impatient with his words.

Thomas furrows his brow. "Um I don't know...11, 12 maybe?"

"So let's say...8 years." Jasper gestures. To which Thomas nods. "And did you openly share that to the world? As soon as you realised Mmm?"

Thomas huffs out a sigh. "No...no I didn't."

"Six weeks Tom. Six week! I've realised that I'm not who I thought I was for only six fucking weeks! I've only just admitted it to myself, yet you want me to declare it to everyone!" Jasper feels breathless. Thomas doesn't know how to respond and just ends up sitting on the edge of the bed staring away from the younger. Jasper takes this moment to move around and sit on the bed next to him. He tries his best to catch Thomas' gaze but ends up having to make do with his profile. "Tom, me not saying anything downstairs has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It's how I feel about myself."

Jasper looks at Thomas' relaxed hand resting on his leg and takes it, causing Thomas to look at the fingers wrapping around his palm. He then looks at Jasper, whose face shows a truth. An honesty that he does mean this. He is not ashamed of him. "I'm sorry." Thomas mumbles under his breath.