Love me like you used to

Part 25

The first day without Josh was defiantley the worst.

I didnt say aword that day. I was completely silent.I locked myself in Josh's room andread his journal.Every time i would read a new entry and start to cry and laugh. I finally went home, But not before taking 8 of Josh's t-shirts and his journal.

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if i didnt have to be here, i wouldnt trust me. I had been asked to speak, and i when i was asked, i wasnt vocal enoguh to say no. so there i was.
There i was in this ridiculously short dress with lace tights and black vans and the horrible morbid phone case Josh insisted me using to his funeral. I sat through most of it without listening.

All i was doing was staring at the casket thinking

'my boyfriend is in there.'

'why is my boyfriend in there?'

And then i would remember that my boyfriend is dead and this is his funeral and i would be really sad. Then i would foret and the whole process would start over and over agian.
When i heard my name get called, my head snapped up from the casket, and Sophie squeezed my hand in support. I walked up worads the podium with my speech in my hand.

"hi, I am Elleigh Tailby. I was Josh's girlfriend. Josh was an absolutely amazing young man, an-... im sorry. im not even going to use this."
I put my speech to the side and put my hand either side of the podium.
"Josh Franceschi, was the most incredible person ive ever met. Honestly. He always had a way to brin someone mood up, and he has literally never said anything rude tro anyone. But, Josh was also the most idiotic person i ever met."i heard some gasps from the crowd. "no, not like that! Josh franceschi made the best pancakes ive ever had, but boy he cant make cookies to save hiss life. he literally used a whole bag of flour for one batch. He also insisted i dye his hair blue the day before he died. He once forced me to go to the swimming pool with him, and he forgot his swinsuit! The kid was an idiot. But he was so funny, he always made me laugh, i would of had the most boring year in the history or hidtory! but insteaf i have my best friends," i look to the boys and girls and they all smile at me. "i got a boyfriend,and i got the best year and a half of my life. Thank you so much. I love you Josh." i walk back to Matt and he grinned at me.
"that was reat Elleigh!"
"thank you"
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After that we had to put Josh's casket in the ground. I felt a huge weight fall off my shoulders.
I was able to let go, to set him free.

Josh has no pain anymore.

He is in a better place now<3

Goodbye Josh, I love you♥