F O R D|| L O N E L Y ||(TWD)

Emotions- 024

When Hershel finally woke up, Maggie and Carol were the first to see him, then Rick. Carl and Ford still being up in their shared cell talking quietly until they hear a small, soft commotion downstairs, about both the prisoners that were still out in the cafeteria area and secondly about Hershel waking up at last. Once everyone had settled down Ford split away from Carl for some time alone, making his way outside with his gun on his waist, eyes heavy and drooped lightly. He was still young, so young yet had so much going on mentally.

"Ford" He heard from behind him, turning slightly to see Rick stood a few feet behind his frail body. Ford's eyes gleamed slightly with curiosity. Giving a hum in response to the man. "I know... You probably aren't in the best place with Daryl right now... And I am sorry... I may not have been the best when I first found out about what was going on with you Carl... But I'm trying my best here. And I want you to know, no matter how much you think everyone hates it, they're just confused. You're both still young, they figure you don't know what you're talking about... Ya'know?

And I know you do, I know you know how you feel, and I know Carl knows how he feels, but not everybody accepts it, and not everybody understands it." Ford stared at Rick before chuckling lightly and speaking.

"I know, Rick, I know... I just don't want Carl to be an outcast... I don't care if I am... I care if he is... Can I talk..?" Rick nodded, walking to stand beside him and let his fingers grip the fence in front of them.

"I'm not perfect Rick... I know I'm not... I'm fucked up... I don't know how to process emotions and I have, quite possibly, the shittiest coping mechanisms. I have scars upon scars from my father and I'm emotionally unavailable..." He whispered. "But all of that..? All of that seems to just wash away when I'm with Carl. I still flinch from normal touches, yeah, and I get scared from sudden touches to my back, but I feel vulnerable around him, and I want to be his perfect..."

Rick froze, letting his lips part, the last words repeating in his mind.

His perfect.

Carl's perfect.

Ford didn't care about being perfect for anyone else. Just Carl and that shocked Rick, he was surprised, he had never thought a boy would be saying this about his son. Ford very much sounded like Rick when he talking about his and Lori's relationship. Ford slowly looked down and smiled.

"And deep down I feel like I'll never be perfect enough for him... I might not know what he and I have if we even have anything... And I might not know his tells when he needs or wants something... But I'm gonna but a lot into making sure he's happy... So you focus on you, 'Cause I know you aren't all here still... But today was a good day... And you made sure of it... Thank you, Rick.." Then Ford walked off, feet shuffling softly as he walked back inside to see everyone, running into Glenn first, who guided him off to the side to talk.

"I need to know. I don't care that you like guys Ford. But if you could tell me, why?" Ford stared at him before he opened his mouth.

"U.. Uhm... It isn't something I can control... It's like... Could you just switch your interest from woman to men?" Glenn shook his head. "Ok, I can't change that I like guys and don't like girls. It isn't something that you can just change... It's something in your mind, programmed... And my programmed mind was altered at birth... And I just so happen to like guys instead... If you could pass that along to everyone I'd greatly appreciate it..." Glenn slowly nodded, wrapping his head around what the boy had just said before leaving him alone and walking off. Ford jogged back into the cellblock to see Carl, a smile coming to his lips almost instantly when he saw the smaller boy.

"Hey.." He mumbled, arm wrapping around Carl's waist gingerly as they walked, Carl moving into his side.

"Hi... Where did you disappear to?" Ford chuckled quietly. "Was talking to your dad... Nothin important.."