Out Of Control

Well Fuck

I quietly followed behind Mikey, well as quiet as I can be all things considered. The bleak washed out sky matched my glum mood, I blinked rapidly and threw my head back which I'm turn made the hood of my oversized hoodie fall down exposing my features further.

We turned to head into the overcrowded mall and I noticed the depressed looking security guard vaguely glancing at everyone who entered the large building. I managed to pass the guard without incident. As soon as I was clear of the guards steely glaze a flurry of twitches flew across my face and neck "faggot!" I exclaimed without any thought in my usual weirdly strangled high pitched voice which I had fittingly labelled "The Cursed Voice" makes sense I guess.

As Mikey and I headed in our usual direction I nervously pressed my fingernails into the rough, slightly scarred palms of my hands, a bad habit I adopted well over three years ago. In a futile attempt to make myself appear slightly more inconspicuous I embedded my nails into my hand creating inflamed red crescents that dotted along my pale skin, alas this only worked for so long as all of a sudden "fuck you and your mom" worked it's way out of my throat joining the chorus of other random noises that my voice box released without my permission into the warm air, slightly relieving the indescribable tension that was currently present in my neck.

"Are you okay?" Mikey questioned worriedly.

"yeah, I'm fine, I just didn't have much sleep" I lied, smiling gently at my brother who continued to lead the path through the mindless shoppers.

Finally we reached the small comic book shop that was nestled in between a Starbucks and a clothing store at the very back of the large building. Mikey forged through the door that triggered small bell above it to ding slightly. The familiar smell of the store crawled up my nostrils and sank into my lungs instantly relaxing me more as my neck muscles stopped tensing quite as violently. I spontaneously flipped off the curly haired cashier who had no response other than a small chuckle then proceeding to turn back to sorting comics behind the till. I found myself immensely grateful to my late grandmother for bringing me here as a small child as I continued to come even after her passing allowing the staff to not be phased by my random outbursts of noise and uncontrollable movements.

**
After Mikey found his desired comics, payed for them and chatted to the only member of staff about Iron Maiden or something equally as groovy we exited the warmth of the store and began to retrace our route back to the entrance.

My sporadic twitching had ceased slightly, calmed by the safeness of the comic book store. "FUCK YEAH TIGERS!" I practically screamed earning a wave of odd looks and concerned comments to be passed around, I sank back into my hair trying not to look at the judging eyes as the left side of my face suddenly decided it wanted to be as far away from the right side as possible and continuosly scrunched to the left.

As we approached the security guard who was still looking bored as there was apparently no teenagers shoplifting to keep him occupied. Mikey briefly threw a concerned look my way as I kept squeaking slightly, and like the last thousand times I did the smile and the reassuring nod.

The entrance grew closer but so did the feeling at the back of my throat, like a tiny man was inflating a balloon in my gullet determined to make me give in. Well not today, I was determined to at least suppress it just this once but after all god hates me or something so it's not that easy.

I felt the room start to spin and my knees grow weak as I continued to try to suppress but my voice box gave as infront of the security guard and multiple other shoppers I loudly yelled "I'VE GOT A BOMB"

Well fuck

An: so hi I guess, this is my first ever fanfic so hooray, if anyone actually reads this then thank you.

I'll try and include as many of Gerard's tics as I can but I'm only really going to be able to write the main ones/most notable ones but Gerard has severe tourettes and is almost constantly ticcing so bear that in mind.

Bai my lil duckies