Out Of Control

The End (it's not the end)

Gerard's pov

Suicide/self harm trigger warning

Only the soft scratch of the pen could be heard as my digital clock ticked over to two am. I signed the bottom of the lined paper with a flourish, I folded it with shaky hands and held it in my palm.

I drew a shaky breath and quietly exited my room, I glanced forlonly to the room next to the one I was about to enter, my eyes cast upon Mikey's room. "Goodbye, little brother" I whispered quietly. I tore my eyes away from the door and silently entered the bathroom.

I placed the note pride of place by the bathroom mirror and reached up to open the cabinet in which held my death.

I tried to suppress the tic that was working its way up my throat, but to no avail. "ah fuck Frankie," I let out in a half moan.

"I'm so sorry Frankie." I thought to myself

I thought of going back to at least message him goodbye but thought better of it, so not to arise Amy suspicion I carried on with my plans.

Once I'd retrieved the full bottle of pills which I'd once had been prescribed for tics but refused to take due to extreme side effects I uncapped them and placed them next to the note momentarily and stared in the mirror.

"So long and goodnight." I said to my reflection and one by one began to swallow every last pill.

By the time I reached the bottom of the bottle I'd lost count of how many pills I'd consumed and my head felt like I'd been bashed with a brick.

The urge to vomit washed over me like a poisonous tidal wave and I was forced to sit down against the wall.

Fighting back nausea I stared through the small window up to the stars. I'd always believed that when someone died they merely died and that was that, left in the ground to be forgotten, but now, so near to the end and so peaceful I couldn't help but think otherwise

My head throbbed as I tried so hard not to vomit, can't throw up the precious pills of death.

My view of the stars became fuzzier as more of the toxic medicine made it's way further through my bloodstream. The pain in my head had become almost unbearable and I lulled to the side. My body resting on the cold tile floor.

My sweaty palms rested on the floor, picking up dust as my eyes struggled to stay open.

Without much conscious thought the contents of my stomach had worked it's way out of my mouth and was now very present on my tiled floor. The smell hit my nostrils immediately, I would've gagged if I wasn't already preoccupied.

I continued to dry retch long after my stomach had been completely drained of any fluid. Colours began to dance in front of my eyes, I tried to reach out to touch them but found my hands to feel heavier than lead, so they just sat limp in a puddle of my own vomit.

My vision darkened as I felt myself begin to slip away from reality, the darkness felt so enticing as I tried to let go.

I was all but entirely passed out when I barely noticed a light above my head being switched on. I heard a faint shout that sounded somewhat familiar followed by the soft touch of someone gently stroking my hair along with panicked shouts to what I can only presume was someone else.

I could barely comprehend the desperate pleas of my brother's voice as I fell into the oblivion.

An: okay this one's shorter than normal (just like Frank ;)) but I was very depressed and kinda needed to get this one outta my system to stop myself doing something rather regrettable.

How are y'all??

Bai Bai duckiez