Servant | Taekook English version

Page 20: "I'll be your dark angel."

[30STM feat.  Kanye West - Hurricane]

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......

Dear Lou,

Here are ten reasons I believe we should get married:

1. I know that I have offered you twice and you refuse each time, but I cannot deny the attractiveness of the third time.

2. You are the first female psychoanalyst and I respect that very much.

3. You get along well with Freud, I'm sure you will get along very well with my other friends.

4. You like writing about the erotic natures of women and how sexual difference works more deeply than economics.  I'm also very interested and enjoy everything erotic.

5. We are both big fans of Ibsen.

6. You always smell good.

7. I love its childish curiosity and gritty skin.

8. We both share a passion to criticize the mind and deny objective truth.

9. I'm alone ...

Nietzsche's letter to Lou Salome

......

Later that night, instead of using the bath, he was cleaned in my own little bathroom, Count Jeon with other family members retreated to an upstairs study, making it clear that he wouldn't need me for a long time.  At the same time, Hoseok took a break and retired to his room.

Me?  I found myself in the pantry section of the kitchen and covered my crying body with a melted ice cream box and a metal table spoon in my hand.

A few hours ago, Count Jeon and what I had had so upset my nerves that I felt the need to cry by isolating myself and, in a shattered mood, so that no one could hear my hiccups, I took bites of ice cream as big as I could.

Why was this happening?  Why did I always feel like I had made a mistake somewhere and lost my luck?  Why did I get so nervous, my feelings were turned upside down and I was always the one who was upset?

As I sniffed and grabbed another spoon, the cellar door opened and I was frozen by the kitchen light that hit my face.  If December was in front of the door, Count Park was standing there, his book in his hand, his eyebrows raised at me.

"What's that?"  He said, bowing his head.  "This is my place."  She murmured.

He swallowed the cold bite with difficulty and said, "Sorry, Sir."  I said, quickly wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.  A feeling of embarrassment was added to my sadness, and I began to think that even if the ground was split, I would enter into it.

Count Park, on the other hand, took two small steps inwards, reached out to take one of the candles and closed the door on both of us.  When he sat cross-legged on the wall opposite me, he turned the candle and dropped it onto the floor and flattened it again and pressed it onto the melted candle to fix it.  He was moving rather calm and lethargic.  I was told he was angry, but now he seemed so peaceful in all aspects.  There was no trace of his anger that I knew him.

"I heard you talking to Jerome."  She said in a whispering tone.  My wet eyes were open and I swallowed.  When I remembered our conversation, I wanted to put my head on the jars behind me, knowing that I had said I liked Count Park and that it had been heard by him.  Everything was overlapping and getting worse.  He looked over me for a while and said, "You're a nice-looking zombie and yes, you know too much about us. It's still uncomfortable, but I don't think you have feelings for me and you're sincere about it, huh?"  He said what a language.