I'm Dying

6.

Suman was directing his ground shooting when Shravan thought of breaking down into a conversation. On the outside, Suman looked so, so normal and fine. He was ready to save her from anything which was hurting her, but in self-doubt, he wondered if he was the reason for her pain. He wanted to see her anxiety, shivering, and read her face. He wanted to explore her avoidance and seclusion if it meant she will be ready to show him what was eating her.

'I talked to Bunty.' Shravan said, still looking at the target. He whispered obvious of their workplace.

Suman stiffened at her spot. It was terrifying for her to live with Shravan. It made her feel sick in the stomach, it made her cells experience every trauma she had dumped 7 years ago. Even then she couldn't help but feel relaxed when he smiled at her or just talked. Talked- normally. Somewhere, she knew he was the only memory of her past life, standing in flesh and blood. It was a weird feeling of agony and gratitude.

'He, he wants to throw a party. He was really feeling bad for keeping me out.' Shravan smiled at her.

'Good for you! I have some work. Spare me a minute.' Suman almost ran out of the place. Yes, he was talking normally, but the event associated with Bunty-Kanchan's revelation wasn't pleasing to her. Her crying, her reacting hysterically- all that triggered like a shot with those words of his. Why wasn't he getting that she was a broken visage he need not tamper with, or he might get a scar!

Shravan saw her escape. He never in his dreams wanted to do that to her in the Cantt. It was her workplace, the place she had dearly wished to work, and he won't ruin it by disturbing her. He loaded his gun, pointed it at the target, and hit the bullseye.

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'Call Vikram.' Shravan ordered Bunty on the phone. Kanchan who sat a few seats away frowned at him.

'Why so, have you lost it? I mean, me marrying Kanchan is something you can accept, but calling the prosecutor, I mean....' Bunty let the sentence hang in the air.

'He is my friend, Bunty. A good guy.' Shravan pressed on the matter, genuinely.

Kanchan fluttered her eyelashes in confirmation.

'Sugar!' she called out Bunty on the phone and Shravan couldn't help but chuckle faintly. 'Let Shravan decide.' she pestered further as Bunty complied.

'Time flies.' Shravan sighed on the phone, as Kanchan couldn't help but press her lips in a smile.

As he kept back the receiver, Kanchan excused herself from his room and went to check on Suman, who was just getting ready for the party.

Shravan looked at her retreating figure, thinking that if everything was fine between them, then he would have sent her with some gift for his lady love to wear tonight. He knew that the sudden thought was miserable and completely out of place, but he couldn't ignore the sudden feeling of warmness in his heart thinking about Suman wearing something of his liking. It was surreal, however, his real intentions were just to help her out. Nothing more and nothing less.

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Kanchan entered the room after a slight knock. She looked at it for a moment, feeling that she had entered a time travel box. It smelled of their childhood. She could hear the shower in its full swing, their was a saree sprawled- dark blue in color. She loved it but something snapped inside her. Suman won't object if she replaced it with a scarlet coloured saree, she had bought when Shravan had picked her up from the airport.

Living with Bunty had made her realise an array of things.

1. Devraj Malhotra was negligent. And there wasn't anything more to that.
Still, she won't ever pester Suman to make or break her decisions. Just like Suman had accepted her relation with Bunty without poking her own thoughts, she would never question Suman about her choices. They knew how to give each other the required space.

2. Shravan is a genuine guy. He really is.
Her heart ached to see both Suman and Shravan live on the farther ends of the same branch. It was just so cruel, of everyone to not see and mend it. And then she was a part of the same crowd. There were things too difficult to digest and then things so difficult to turn around. Their break up, their staying away from each other and nobody in this world giving a damn- hurt. But then, as Bunty had always told her- that people whom we love have a way of gravitating back to us, no matter how far they move away. So, she- just like him, waited.

Kanchan pulled out a scarlet Saree, with scarlet net and flower embroidery. She almost shuddered seeing it, it was so beautiful If Bunty hadn't selected her saree for the night, she would have worn it. But then seeing Shravan today, when he picked her up, made her sense a slight soft corner in his heart for her elder sister. Her name from his mouth felt so soft as if he carried her on his tongue. She was suddenly hit with a cyclone of memories and thanked God for making her purchase the scarlet saree. It was Shravan's favorite color and Suman shall look aesthetic in it. She didn't know what it meant, it just meant something- something which should happen.

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Suman saw herself in the mirror. She was fresh out of shower, drapped in towel with the heaviness of her wet hair dripping water.She rubbed the mirror to clear over the condensed moisture of the washroom and saw her skin. It had spots of pink enraged all over like light rashes. She had scrubbed herself more than it was needed. It all happened when she started thinking of excuses she might give Kanchan to forgo the party. She thought and thought and scrubbed. Finally when her sking felt extremely sensitive to touch, she came to the conclusion thar she'd rather make herself sick but not say no to Kanchan. She loved her sister too dearly to reject anything which made her happy. Already, she only had a few of her loved ones left.

She stepped out in her towel and saw a scarlet coloured saree of flower embroidery sprawled over her bed. There was a small note tucked with it -

'I bought it for you, Behen!' -Kanchan

Suman smiled looking at the curves of her sister's handwriting. She was such a messy hand. They were always given pages to right when they were small. It was a sought of a competition, in which Kancha was always so so lazy to participate. She labeled it as "wasted potential" and announced that they could do better things in the time they wasted in ruining paper.

"Time flies" She chuckled faintly. It really does.

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Suman coupled the scarlet saree with amber coloured ear rings. She had them in the farthest drawer of her room, eating dust. She barely remembered when she had bought them. She liked them. She wore her hair in a high bun- not too high, or it will make her head ache. and decided to go with a dangling bun holder.

'UGhhHH!' she spat. It was so, so damn difficult to make a bun. All the juda pins sprawled and Suman gave up with her aching arms. 'Sodd it!' she cursed and then made a loose bun and ran it through her bun holder and let a few strands of her hair loose. She glossed her lips light pink, filled mascarra and left the room hurridely. She might be looking fine, she thought.

As she took the flight down the stairs she felt Shravan sit on one of the loungers. He should have been in the party. Suman thought. She came around him, sitting up straight in his black blazer. For an eternity, he was always jammed in formals, but today he was finally casual. His white t-shirt peaked out of the black blazer.He had buckled a chocolate brown belt with again a jet black denim. Okay, okay Shravan Malhotra, finally he looked something which made her feel the past. It wasn't nice always. Almost every time she felt traumatic to be thrown in memories but this man, this man was more than a memory for her.

'Ready?' Shravan asked and then it felt like he froze. He had felt Suman coming, her earrings were making a noise all the way down the stairs but the moment his eyes struck at her petite figure and enorrmous look, he was marevlled. Shravan stared and stared and it wasn't until Suman took up the car keys and walked forward, he was dragged out of the Tiwari house.

Scarlet was his favorite colour, but he never thought that it would drive him crazy anyway.

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