I'm Dying

13.

The vast expanse of stars in the universe was making it a wonder, a place to stay forever. Suman looked up sitting in her car seat as Shravan unbuckled his seat belt.

Beautiful, isn't it? Suman? Her mother's voice called her out. Suman caught her breath in her lungs. She liked seeing her mother as if she was calling her to be with her. It's a cliff. Suman's mother signalled towards the elevation they had come to.

But Suman wanted to be fine. She wanted to live, even if she felt nothing, she wanted to make it the other way round. She wanted Shravan.

'Suman?' Shravan called her. She wondered if it was his first or fifth time.
'Sorry! What?' Suman fought back her trance.
'Nothing. Come around or do you plan to sit in the car forever!' Shravan passed a smile but suppressed the creases of worry. She was lost, again. But he will bring her back.
'Coming!' Suman unlocked the car door and stepped out.

'Beautiful, isn't it?' Shravan's head was ducked up. It was enormous of burning gases and cool twinkles

'It is.' but Suman couldn't help but see her mother, standing, right there at the cliff.

'Should, I get some coke? water?' Shravan again waved his hands in front of Suman. Suman sucked back the hurricane of things happening to her, her hallucinations and nodded at him, glassy-eyed.

'You..' Shravan scanned her eyes, the helplessness she hid behind them. 'You don't look fine. See if you are tired, we can....'
'No!' Suman interrupted. 'I love it here. I do.' Suman shook her head in positive.
Shravan patted her cheek, pressed his lips and just saw her for a second. She was there, in flesh and blood. It made his heart race. 'I'll bring the th..things.' he stuttered and moved towards the car.

Suman saw him go away for a second and turned around to still find her mother standing, right at the edge of the cliff. Don't you want to meet me Suman? she asked a bit strangely. Suman found herself nodding to the question.'I do, I want...' Suman mumbled to herself. Taking a step forward she thought of going along and away, but someone called her out. '

'Sumo!' Shravan was annoyed. 'Where is the coke?' Shravan called her out again.

Suman turned around almost instantly. She felt guilty, she wanted to punish herself. How was all this fair? She had dreamt of happiness, and now when it stood so close, she wanted to abandon it. After walking miles in the scorching heat, she was getting the shade of the stars, there coolness. It had been, so so long, that she could barely remember the time when she didn't have to open up to a few diary pages. 'Oh! God! Shravan, it's in the dashboard.' Suman ran towards the car, away from the cliff and towards her happiness maybe!

Shravan saw her smile, after a long time. She had surfed the dashboard and Eureka! She was right.

As Suman balanced the coke in her hand, she said that she has to save the fizz or it might go. 'Reason for which I am not a fan of carbonated drinks.' Suman stated and Shravan couldn't help but chuckle. Suman walked with caution but soon her foot slipped off a stone. Nature-ruins. Shravan was quick to catch her fall but the coke bottle was thrown far from hindsight, losing all the fizz.

Suman watched the bottle go away, still in Shravan's hold. He had caught with a desperate grip as if fearing that she might vanish. 'Good lord!' she clasped her forehead dramatically, trying to cease the tension between the two. It was no more about the coke bottle.

Shravan traced the creases of her skin, the imperfection which glowed in the night sky. It was a gift of their separation, but something about the feeling of her skin under his hands made him feel complete and happy. He stared and looked and watched- with bewilderment. She was there, close and fine and beautiful.