I'm Dying

23

The night wind was teasing and crisp. Suman pulled her stole tighter to her body as Shravan unlocked the door to their new residence. She looked at him, his torso covered in a black shirt, buttoned up abundantly. She smiled a bit, thinking of times when it was a matter of concern to keep the uppermost button of his shirt open, for her.

He shook his head, not really in his high spirits after their "that" talk in the theatre hall. He was still partially shocked at her ability to think of such things with ease. Of how she couldn't once weigh the possibility of their togetherness. Suman's steps behind him were light yet resolute as he fought the urge to turn around and ensure that she hasn't vanished.

'Do you miss the field, Shravan?' Suman's voice was distant and pragmatic. Shravan, gave a sarcastic chuckle and with strained calm dodged the question ' Why do you care, Captain Tiwari?'. A few moments of silence followed until Shravan added 'You want to get away from me to prove how easy it would be for you to stay without me. And then a series of requests will follow- telling me to go away and be happy. So, for your kind information- I will not go away ever.' he said, his throat catching unfamiliar rhythms of sadness.

Suman smiled lightly. That hollow and ghostly smile, dripping with the need to comfort others. She came, zipping up the distance between her and Shravan, and shook her head in negative. His creases of worry straightened into a resplendent wave of relief. ' I love you and I don't know anything better.' her voice was undulating and chattering but her resolve shined brightly in his ears.

Her hands were clammy but felt comfortable and warm to him. 'More than anything, losing my time with you is my biggest fear.' he said, his eyes rolling in anxiety and helplessness.

Suman looked at him, darting her eyes into his, thinking that if he could read the future. And if by chance, he could- she might run away as soon as possible. 'No. You won't. All my time, till possible, is yours.' She said, untrusting the firmness of her vocals and the truth of her words.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Shravan pressed his lips against her- mellowing down the aching urge to kiss her. Tranquility shadowed their senses as their lips moved around in a comforting fashion. Shravan felt an erratic burst of scintillating warmth governing his senses. After it got difficult to breathe, in tandem, he pulled apart to read her honey brown eyes. They were molten and basking the burnt of their passion, so he again gave in to the weakness of his knees and the frenzy of their hearbeats to kiss the nape of her neck.

Suman felt her stomach lurch and her dermis go uber cold. It was like he was pulling her back to the place she already had exited. Boring into his gaze she could not help but nodd. It was like pleasing him for the last time. Rewarding him with one night of forlorn memories for all the toil he had invested in her. Maybe, after she went- and when she won't be here to listen and reciprocate his hurt, he may smile thinking about how she felt to touch.It was evil and uncaring and devilish of her to think that way. Purely selfish. But she could barely think of an alternative, when the hurt is so deep stemmed in her. It was like a spring in her heart- pressed at rare moments to make space for comfort and then released to throw out all her happiness.

Shravan's hands snaked around her waist, the tip of his fingers were numb of the excitement. He could feel their legs tangled in an extreme fashion, almost struggling to get past the barriers to feel the closeness of their souls. Shravan again looked at her, one last time- to see if she wants to stop it all. However hard it would be to stop kissing her in the mid of their frivolous make out session, he would do it.

'Take me.' Suman again just smiled at him. His confusion was converted into a determined shyness with his ears going redder at her boldness. Or maybe, she was just simply speaking it, devoid of any passion. For Shravan words were a distant acquaintance for the moment. He fervently gave her a kiss on the cheek and proceeded to unzip her burgandy coloured suit. Her amiability and willingness to participate in the deed unreasonably striked colder to him but he still pushed any second thoughts at the back of his brain.