I'm Dying

16.

Suman stirred in her bed as she felt warmer in her comforter. She let the light of the sun rays
enter her room and elucidate its smallest detail. Honestly, she had barely woken up to such scenes, courtesy-her punctuality. But right now the last thing on her mind was to get up and go anywhere. With that, she fluttered her eyes open, slowly. She looked around and saw Shravan's handkerchief lying on her study table, with his watch kept on it. A smile found its way to her lips, as it etched from one ear to the other. She felt silly as a fine blush crept on her face as she mentally kicked herself that 'it's nothing!'

'It is.....' Kanchan walked into the room making Suman turn around in haste and embarrassment.

Had she heard it all? And she didn't even realize it?

'....A really good morning!' Figuratively, just like Suman, Kanchan was too impressed with the room first. But then her eyes followed the details and picked out Shravan's accessories. 'It really is...' she bounced a brow and rolled her eyes with a smirk.

'It's.....It's nothing.' Suman sprang out of her bed and started folding the comforter.

'Did I ask you?' Kanchan sat on the bed indifferent to Suman's efforts to fold the mess.

The mess. Yes.

Suman shook her head in a no. Kanchan nodded in victory. 'He had made tea for you before leaving.' Kanchan slipped the words out of her tongue delicately.

'He?' Suman asked pretending to be nonchalant.
'Shravan.' Kanchan stressed the punctuation. 
'Where is he? ' Suman asked almost immediately. It felt like the words were staying on her lips.
'Left for the Cantt.' Kanchan's smile mellowed down a bit. 'I don't know why, but I didn't really have a good feeling about it. It felt like those emergency calls Vijay Uncle used to attend.' Kanchan let the henna- hands rub all over Suman's knuckles, it felt a bit comforting.

'Emergency calls...' Suman again saw the handkerchief and watch Shravan had left in her study. He might have bought it last night. She could imagine him doing that. Then early in the morning when she was still peacefully asleep in her damn bed- he could have overtaken the kitchen from Damru and  made tea for her. And ?

A call.
and then he was gone.

Suman could not imagine this. She just felt a deep pit of worries and ruined expectations in her stomach. What was she thinking? He did have a job. He was a bloody Army officer and not....and not anything to her. For the first time in these days, she felt a void in her chest, like a vacuum.

'He could have woken me up!' Suman got up and left Kanchan's hands.

'Sis. relax!' Kanchan too shot up from the bed seeing her elder shiver. Kanchan wondered if she really knew that she was shivering.

'Relax?' Suman was hysterical. 'What do you mean by that? Do you even know how much he cares for me? When I go for the sessions he hugs me goodbye. He wants me to call him and tell him that I reached safely. He wants to know if the session is over and if he could pick me up instead. As soon as I reach back home, he is ready with a tea and is all over me for a discussion. He wants to know what I think, what I feel, what I do....and still he gives me space to ponder over my development as an individual... what the hell..' Suman sat on the floor with tears rolling down her face. She sobbed, harder. She had been taking in this care, this love- Shravan was showing on her unconditionally and filling the hollowness of her soul. But then, wasn't it too drastic a change?

Right now, Kanchan sat in utter silence, at a loss of words. She didn't know what to say and where to start.

'You know Kanchaa...' Suman's voice was a symphony of past and nostalgia 'When I see my mother, Shravan...' his name felt easy and calm on her tongue. 'Shravan too looks in the same direction. Silly boy!' Suman gave a half and sad smile as Kanchan too momentarily passed a grin. 'He seriously makes me feel as if we are in this together.' Suman let her head hit her sister's shoulder.