Commitment

Chapter Eighteen

When Paula refused to look at him or speak to him, Eddie moved to go and sit in the chair across the table from her, setting the cup of tea down and pushing it towards her. It seemed to grab her attention, as she glanced at the cup "thank you" she replied almost automatically, whilst still not looking directly at him.

"So then, you have met my colleague Jack?" he prompted her, needing her to respond in some way, as he now sat back in the chair, just wanting to break the growing awkward silence and tension in the small room.

"Yes, he seems really nice, and as it turned out, we ended up having a very interesting conversation" Paula replied, still fidgeting with the now tattered looking hankie, as she frowned at it thoughtfully.

"I can well imagine," Eddie murmured, more to himself than addressing Paula, as he now stared at the table in front of him.

"But, it-it's just left me a little confused though," Paula then spoke up, now looking across the table at him, still frowning, "Maybe I wasn't really thinking straight, or paying attention with everything that's happened these last few days. But for some reason, when you told me about what happened with my mother, I never realised that you were personally involved with the case, I-I thought you just found out about her when they found her dead"

"Well perhaps, I could have made that part a bit clearer" Eddie admitted, shifting uneasily in his chair.

"And why didn't you tell your partner Jack, that you already knew me?" she then demanded in bewilderment.

Eddie now leaned forward towards her over the table, his grey green eyes meeting hers with a troubled look, wanting to her to try and understand," Well, It's kind of complicated to explain" he responded

"Why?" Paula frowned as she shook her head, not understanding at all, "What was so complicated about it? I mean how could it be if you never realised that Lorna was my mother until after she died?  So then, it must have even come as a shock to you, when the forensics came back with the results of her autopsy, that she of all people turned out to be my mother?"

She was watching his expression closely as she spoke, studying his reaction, and felt her heart sink a little as his gaze lowered from hers again, as he just sat back in the chair again, as if not sure what to say in reply.

"Unless, that is, you already knew she was my mother before she died" she then dared say aloud, her voice strangely stiff at this realization.

Eddie was rubbing his forehead in agitation, and it was a giveaway sign Paula had come to recognise, which meant he was uncomfortable with having to look her in the eye right now, perhaps feeling guilty that she had discovered the truth of the matter, and was now confronting him with it.

"Is that it Eddie?" she demanded quietly, now needing to hear it from his own lips

"Yeah," he finally replied unhappily, "You don't know how hard it's been for me, and how many times I have come close to telling you" he then admitted, sounding almost relieved now. But at the same time, still finding it hard to look her in the eye, as he sat forward again leaning his arms on the table

"So, when was it you realised she was my mother? Before she became your snitch, or after?" Paula pressed on, determined to find out exactly what had been going on now.

"Just shortly before, I knew there was something familiar about her. And at first, I thought it was because I had come across her in my job. But then, when I looked into her file, I realised the address she first used, was where you live now" Eddie explained, deciding to be honest about everything, "But, it wasn't until I met her face to face, I realised who she was, because as you saw for yourself, she looks like your grandmother"