Itsy Bitsy Spider

72. Little Wonders

She could stand normally. That was good, right?

It still hurt for her to move, though at this point it was a challenge to tell whether the pain was external or internal, physical or emotional. But slowly, she was recovering. Right.

(She was fine.)

Rein had expected to feel so much more hate than she currently was. Loathing toward the chain user was—according to last time, according to everything he had done—what she should have been experiencing. But it wasn't there now. It didn't feel absent or missing either, simply not present in her heart. But she missed him, she missed Fei, they all did, and he had left far too early. She also missed Uvo and Paku, and Phinks was left all alone on Saturdays now without his drinking partner, and there was no one to guide Lucky, and even Gon was quieter than usual and she...

(She... was not fine.)

Finished with one round through the lodge, Rein set a hand upon a familiar door, lip trembling. If only she had opened it sooner.

(She was not fine, and she would scream it to the world.)

Her 'scream' was a quiet one, little more than a fighting sob that had finally managed to make it past her barriers, and also one that faded into silence when she entered the room and saw someone that should not have been there.

Feitan looked at her and scowled. "You look pathetic."

*     *     *

A... dream?

Rein reached out towards his image in a bit of a daze.

He batted her arm away quickly. "If dream, you pinch yourself, not me."

Eyes widening, she stared at the area where his hand had smacked hers. It stung. Her throat constricted and she struggled to draw in a breath as she managed to let out, "You're here."

"Now you pathetic and stupid too-" His sentence was cut off as Rein leapt forward and hugged him with such power that he would have been crushed had he not been actively trying to stand firm and resist. His crumpling clothes, his angered demeanor, and his warmth as she squeezed him tighter as he attempted to push away was all evidence that he, that Feitan was... Her light brown hair enveloped his face and he tilted his head to the side in an effort to breathe.

Suddenly Rein backed up, stumbling. Her voice was unsure, panicked, confused, but without a doubt, it was happy. "You're here." Then her eyes widened. She grasped his wrist quickly, gripping it so he could never escape if he tried. Rein started to pull him from the room, tugging his hand and glancing back every other second to affirm that yes, he was still present and would not leave anytime soon. She pulled him back into the main room, her feet scrambling for the floor, constantly dangling too far off the ground and causing her step to falter as the realization sunk in. "He, he's..." She was able to pull him along without complaint, only silent disapproval. "He's...!" Words failed her.

The floorboards creaked. Lucky walked into view, yawning with a hand up to his mouth. "That you, Red? You're being awful loud to... day..." His eyes caught on the pair, and he became frozen stiff.

Rein was only able to gesture numbly, eyes bursting with the emotion her lips could not bring themselves to express.

Lucky's eyes grew to saucers and mirrored hers as he took a step back. Legs giving out, he fell heavily to the floor, shaking his head. His dark bangs swept across his forehead, but his gaze stayed fixated. "Feitan," he whispered quietly, though it seemed to boom from his chest. His features twisted as a sob escaped from him. "But I killed you." His voice cracked. "My Nen... I'm the reason you had to..." A hot tear leaked from his eye as he started to tremble, and he brought the heels of his palms to his face.