In his mind

The decision

Even after a week, I was still thinking about what Dylan did. It was so... I don't know- weird. That kind of thing never happened to me. The next few weeks were rough- a lot of tests and drama. I was sitting in a cafe with Rachel when she started talking about our friendship. 

Rachel: Look, I don't have anything against you two, but it wouldn't kill you if the two of us spent more time. I mean, we haven't been to a pajama party for ages and you don't call me anymore and we don't go to the cafe so often...
Becky: Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm still trying to balance everything that's happening. 
Rachel: I know the two of you are now like... a couple, but I just want to spend more time with you. 

Becky: I know, I get it. I promise I'll try, but it's not like you're alone. You're spending time with Jackie and her friends. And Will. 
Rachel: I know, but they are not you. We're always together, but that doesn't mean I like them so much. You're still my best friend. 

Becky: Okay, I get it. Just, give me some time. 
Rachel: Sure. 
Becky: Thanks. I'll really try. 
Rachel: So, we're cool?
Becky: Of course we are. 

The semester was at the end, final exams were here. And I couldn't care less. I was thinking about me and Dylan, me and Rachel, even Jackie and Khloe. I knew there was something about to happen.

The weird thing that happened was Khloe inviting me to a party at her house. She said the whole school will be there. She also said to invite Rachel, so the two of us decided to go. 
We were driving toward Khloe's house. 

Becky: It's a little bit odd. 
Rachel: That Khloe invited us?
Becky: Yeah, I mean, we don't spend so much time together. 
Rachel: Yeah, I don't know what to say. Maybe she really likes you. 
Becky: Yeah, right...

Rachel: We're here!
Becky: Why are you so excited about it?
Rachel: I'll see Will. 
Becky: Oh yeah, how are things between the two of you going? 
Rachel: Nothing's happening. We're just friends...
Becky: That's what I said...
Rachel: For Dylan, I know... but I really mean it. 
Becky: If you say so...

When we got into the house, we immediately spotted Jackie. She was talking with Dylan, Nick, and Will. I couldn't help it and I felt a little jealous. I knew I had nothing to worry about, but still. It was killing me that one of my best friends was so jealous. 

By the end of the night, I was drunk- really drunk. I don't even remember the most part. I just know drinking and drinking and then waking up in some bed. The first thing that came to my mind was- Oh my God, what did I do. But after seeing Dylan at the doors, I realized it can't be that bad. I was still in my yesterday clothes. 

Dylan: Morning. 
Becky: What happened?
Dylan: You don't remember anything?
Becky: Not really.

He gave me a cup of coffee and sat down next to me. 

Dylan: Well, you drank- a lot...
Becky: I realized that part.
Dylan: You couldn't stand, so I had to carry you in the car. 

Silence. He was probably waiting for my comment, but I felt too stupid to say anything. 

Dylan: Then I drove us here, then you acted like a child until, like 7 a.m., and then you finally fell asleep. 

Becky: What time is it!?
Dylan: 3 p.m.
Becky: Crap! My parents are probably freaking out.
Dylan: They don't. I called Rachel and she said she would cover you.
Becky: Oh thank God. 

I lied down again. My head and stomach hurt. 

Becky: I'm so sorry... I don't know what happened. 
Dylan: It's not your fault.
Becky: Yeah right...

Then I turned my head and looked at him. I was looking at his lion tattoo- it was so big. Must have hurt to get it. Balck crossed was swinging on his ear. 

Dylan: What?
Becky: Thank you... for everything. 
Dylan: No problem. 

*I just hope this won't happen again*

He's such a good person and I'm so stupid. I started kissing him. My hand was in his messy hair and he hugged me. 

Becky: Can we stay here?
Dylan: I think that you should get some rest. 
Becky: I rested enough. 

I kissed him again. 

Dylan: I'm serious. You should probably go home. 
Becky: Okay, okay. 

I got up and started walking out of the house. 

Becky: Where are we? 
Dylan: My old house. It didn't sell yet. 
Becky: It's nice. 

The house was pretty modern and big. Dylan drove to his house and then I drove to my house. 

Michael: Hi. 
Becky: Hi. 
Michael: Where were you?
Becky: With Rachel. We got back to her house. 
Michael: How was the party?
Becky: It was great. 

I went to my room- thinking about Dylan's thoughts. He hoped this won't happen again. I mean, I hope so too, but I got a vibe that he doesn't want me to go out anymore. Anyway, it didn't bother me much because the last week of the first semester was in front of me. I will have to study pretty hard this week. 

The week was long- seemed like it's endless and I ignored everyone. When I say everyone, I mean everyone: Rachel, Jackie, Khloe, even Dylan. I wasn't really going out, I was always inside- studying or reading. 

On Friday night, I did something really stupid. It wasn't a party or drinking, or anything like that. I was pretty bored- not just that day, in general. I figured out that my life isn't boring, I thought I was boring. Everyone change something about themselves from time to time- new haircut, new hair color, new clothes... so I decided to get a tattoo. 

It was stupid, but I thought it would make me closer to Dylan- he had one too. So I just went there and got it. Just like that- and when I showed it to Rachel, she was speechless.