To Love a Half-Blood (A Kili Fanfic)

Chapter 38: Thirty Years Ago

 The four of us try our best to push the horrors of tomorrow morning from our minds. I, most of all, want to pretend this night will last forever.

We all sit together on the old dusty couches. Fili and Ember in one and Kili and I in the other. The princes have had some ale brought up and it sits in a stone jug on the table between us. It was full to the brim a half-hour ago. Ember and Fili are a bit tipsy, and glad to be reunited.

My sister sits on the Dwarf-Prince's lap giggling and teasing him. I've never seen Fili so happy. Kili is sprawled across the couch, his head in my lap. This moment seems perfect. I'm surrounded by those that I love, and who love me back. I'm having second thoughts about tomorrow's plan.

Fili says something in Kudzul and Ember exclaims in embarrassment. The dwarf laughs as she turns bright red.

"Whats going on?" I ask Kili.

He hiccups, "You don't want to know."

Ember grabs a handful of Fili's beard and shouts at him in mock anger.

"Alright! Alright!" He laughs. "I take it back!"

Ember giggles and kisses him on the cheek.

"Get a room you two!" Kili laughs.

"Maybe we will." His brother retorts with a grin.

With a flourish of blue gown and chain mail, Fili sweeps his fiance off her feet and carries her down the hall.

"I'm glad they're out of here." Kili sighs.

"Oh come on, they're in love Kili. Its cute." I chastise. "I like to see my sister happy."

"And I like to see my brother happy..." He responds, sitting up. "But I'd much rather be making you happy."

He leans over me, planting a soft kiss on my lips. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

"You are," He breathes, kissing the corner of my mouth. "Incredibly beautiful."

His lips touch my chin. "I can't resist it any more."

He leaves hot kisses along my jawline. I tremble under his touch. He comes up for air and his fingers pull at the clasp on the neck of my dress. He pulls it open to reveal my pale throat. He begins again. Touching his warm lips to my skin. One of his hands slides behind me as he gets closer. I can't catch my breath. His kisses send shivers up my spine and I suppress a moan. He starts sucking gently on the side of my neck, then more forcefully. A hot blush rises in my cheeks. Then he lets go, panting. His hands go to my face, touching my cheek with the back of his fingers. I press my face against his hand. There is silence for a moment.

"You're perfectly gorgeous Lari-sar, and deadly with those knives of yours. Have I told you that I think it's too damn sexy? Because sometimes I can't focus when we're supposed to be fighting."

His voice is deeps and resonating. It echoes through my chest and makes me tingly all over again.

"You are my guiding light in a world of darkness." His eyes suddenly turn sad. He cradles my hand in his. "I'm scared Lari-sar, more scared than when I was captured by goblins, more scared than when I thought I was dying."

He kisses my hand. I thought my blush couldn't get any deeper, but it does.

"This war, this war that is coming, I fear I will not be able to protect you." His voice is getting more determined and more desperate with every word. "I cannot live on without you, not after all this. You are too precious. It is dangerous..."

My heart threatens to shatter.

I'm betraying him, Betraying this deep, true, undying love. How can I break his heart. Above all else he values me. Before his own life he worries for me. And I am a traitor. I will destroy his trust.

"Don't worry Kili. I can take care of myself." I laugh sadly. "You've seen me fight. I'm no weakling."

He nods and goes quiet before saying, "Fighting is easy... War is hard."

He wraps his arms around me. I sink into his embrace and return the hug. When he releases I try one final time to save myself from my future pain.

"If the war is going to be this awful, why... why are we going to fight it? Why not just give the elves and men their cut? There is so much treasure, a few coins wouldn't be missed..." I plead with him.

He was his old self moments ago. He must see the truth in my words he-

My hopes are dashed. Just as with my previous pleas, his countance goes dark. I back away from him.

"What have I told you time and again?!" He shouts.

I regret my actions.

"It is my birthright! We owe them nothing!" He bellows. "And I will die before a coin leaves this mountain!"

"What about me? You're so selfish! Your life is not yours to throw away! I need you!" Anger builds in my chest and all my pent-up emotions tumble out. "Your greed over the treasure in this mountain will bring me ruin too! If you die I have nothing left on this earth! If I die in your war, it will not be an elf or a man that kills me. It is you! You can stop this right now if you choose, but you don't! You must not value me as you claim if you wish me to die!"

My voice quivers and I look into his, searching for reason, for compassion. I'm met with swirling anger.

"I said that the gold is MINE!" he cries at the top of his lungs, his voice echoing with anger.

His hand raises, and comes towards me with a harsh intent.

Ada (Daddy)

A scene from thirty years earlier flashes before my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to look, waiting of the pain of my flesh and the shattering of my trust.

Nothing happens.

I open one eye. His hand is stopped in mid air.The darkness is gone from his face. His hand lowers slowly. His eyes are wide in horror.

"I-" He gasps.

He looks at his hand, and then back to me.

"I-"

I'm pressed against the arm of the couch, as far from his as I can be.

"I- I don't know what came over me... I-"

Still shaken, I stand up. My legs feel weak beneath me and my heart still pounds in my chest. I wipe the tear stains from my eyes.

"I will be going to bed now." I say with a shaky voice.

"Lari-sar, I'm sorry. I-"

"I am tired. Goodnight Kili." I continue, trying to regain my composure.

I hurry from the room. He jumps up to follow me, but the door is already swinging behind me.

I must go through with the plan. This curse is destroying him.