Lost Girl From Neverland

Chapter V: Better Than None

**************************

Wynter Jesslyn Lim

Tatlong araw na ang nakakalipas mula noong dumating si Cairo dito sa bahay namin, we had a nice deal para hindi kami magkakaroon ng problema sa isa't isa. He'll cook meals for me so we'll stay peaceful and quite, I won't touch his stuff and he will do the same to mine. It's Saturday so obviously walang pasok sa school, it's my beauty rest day today so none of them are allowed to bother me in anyway.

Naipasa ko na lahat sa kanila ang mga parte ko sa group thesis namin, hindi kase ako pumupunta ng personal dahil nagiging alkansya ako ng grupo. Noong high school ako, doon nag simula lahat. Wala akong kakampi, wala ring magawa sina Ember, Jian o Xandra kahit kapwa sila may mga pera. Tinataon nila na wala si Jianna para walang ibang mag tetestigo para saakin, I was once an outcast but now? I'm no longer.

People had started to noticed my existence ever since my family got into an issue regarding my father's sudden death, bigla nanaman kaseng nabanggit yon during kuya's interview sa bansang Canada. That incident was mentioned including our whole family, they showed fake sympathy. Mukha lang silang may pake out of curiosity, they just wanted to gossip about us but I ignored all of them.

Cairo was there, he's trying to apologize but I pushed him away because I was still to mad about it. Without someone by my side? I might have committed suicide, it's like I'd rather die than live and suffer. We'll still end up dead either way, hindi ko nga alam kung papaano ako naka ligtas. I tried to jumped off mula sa 4th floor ng school pero ayaw ko namang maging white lady, isipin pa nila na gusto ko silang patayin or what. It's not the dead whom you should be scared about.

Sa buhay dapat tayo natatakot kase pwede silang pumatay ng kahit na sino sa kahit na anong oras o lugar, yung mga taong naniniwala sa multo? Para silang natatakot sa sarili nilang anino, hindi nila alam na sila lang din naman yon. Now that I have nothing to do, I'm bored. Cairo is busy, he's probably in my brother's room while watching anime or porn? It'll be between those two choices.

Tapos na kaming kumain ng breakfast, he'll come down later kapag oras na ng tanghalian namin. He wouldn't let me starve to death nor kumain ng walang kalasa-lasang pag kain na niluto ng mga maids dito, wasting food is not a good hobby that's why I rarely do that. Kapag hindi ko nauubos, sila na ang bahala doon. They can either eat it since hindi naman masyadong nagalaw, or throw it away like rich asshole since hindi naman galing sa bulsa nila yung perang ginamit.

Bryson and I are still in the awkward situation, I mean bakit siya nag papaliwanag saakin kung anong meron sa kanila ni Hannah? Bakit ako magkakaroon ng pakealam? It's not like we're in a relationship or what, halos ngayon nga lang kami nagka usap sa personal eh.

Actually, kilala na namin ang isa't isa noon pa man, imposible naman na hindi diba? Nababanggit ang pangalan tuwing attendance and we as students had to shout crazily dahil mga bingi ang nag a-attendance. Each time, parang palengke ang classrooms dahil hindi magkarininigan. Yung iba nag dadaldalan tapos yung iba naman hindi nakikinig, halos lahat sila may kani-kaniyang buhay.

Some of my classmates are even watching porn inside the classroom or smoking Marijuana tuwing break time sa rooftop ng school, I caught them more than twice. Meron din akong video na proweba but I didn't say anything regarding that matter to anyone, what's the point? Kahit may kapangyarihan akong protektahan ang sarili ko ay hindi ko naman ugaling makialam sa buhay ng iba.