Love is Illogial - Why do I find my lab assistant cute?

How you see me

Panting heavily, my body final gave in, falling onto the sofa of the apartment Ria and I shared. Yes, Ria and I shared our dorm apartment, due to the request of my old man should Ria have a late night panic attack. Under those requests, they allowed us to share an apartment. We've lived here for four months now and the physical part of the training didn't seem to be getting easier. I try to ignore the exhaust button but tonight was one of the times I couldn't. I heard Ria's laugh coming from the the arm of the sofa. Looking up, my neck creaking as I did, Ria rested on the arm using folded arms. The exhaustion must have felt worse as upon seeing her smile, i felt my cheeks heat up further. "Aw, little Senku tired himself out again," She mocked pocking my forehead. 

I groaned, pushing myself up and slapped away her hand. "Thought you had additional lessons today," There was a bit of spit in my voice. As it turned out Dr. Xeno was remaining for a few months as a guest lecturer and, for reasons I understand, he took a shine to Ria and the ideals she brought. 

Ria shuck her head, standing up straight, looking down at me with that same smile. "I'm a head of most people at the moment," She bragged. "So I figured that I could make us dinner tonight. Hamburgers sound good?" I nodded, Ria seeming to get more gleeful as she went off to the kitchen.  I could hear the clanging of the pans, observing from the sofa as she began to prep the meat. "Besides, Dr. Xeno has been busy handing over notes to the teacher who will be taking over for him." 

I could hear a bit of sadness in her voice. "Yeah," I grunted trying to get comfortable. "But you made the most of your time being taught by Xeno, so it will be alright." 

I heard the burner turn on,  Ria putting on the rice. "My hero in the scientific field being my teacher has been pretty awesome," Ria turned back, coming to sit beside me on the sofa. "But you get him all to yourself when you head to America next month." 

"What's so special about him?" I snapped, my eyes widened in horror and I covered my mouth. I've always looked up to Dr. Xeno, so why did I say that? Was it becuase of how Ria admires him? Does she she him superior to me in science? Ria looked at me in shock. Neither of us said anything, merely sharing confused looks. I made the first move, moving my hand away from my mouth. "I um, sorry I didn't mean to snap."

I went to get up, feeling sick in my stomach only for Ria to grab my wrist. "Senku, is something wrong?" Ria asked, I bit my lip, trying to not allow my illogical feelings to rise up. "Do you have a problem with Dr. Xeno?" 

No, the problem is how you look up to him. I wanted to say this but I couldn't bring myself to. I turned around, looking at the pain in Ria's eyes. The sickness grew and my chest tightened. Everything we've been through and I can't be honest with her right now. I swallowed hard, "How do you see me in comparison to Dr. Xeno?" I asked, my gaze now avoiding Ria's. 

I heard her gasp, followed by feeling her hands move, gripping onto my shirt and her head burring into my chest. "Do I really need to yell you?" She asked. I didn't answer, she would know that my answer wouldn't matter. She would need to tell me anyway. "Dr. Xeno is my hero in the field of science but you Senku," She paused, looking up to me, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "You're my real hero. You literally saved my life, you became a reason I looked at the good in life." Silence fell between us again, not feeling particular, heavy or awkward. There was a nothingness to the air. Ria took a deep breath, a tear sneaking it's way down her cheek, landing on my shirt. "And you Senku, how do you see me?" 

I remember this question. She asked me this back in high school and I never really answered. Locking eyes, I can't escape this any longer, I grabbed her forearms, choosing my next words carefully; "I have illogical feelings towards you."