Confiding in You ϟ a.i.

Chapter 59

((Thank u all for your comments on the last chapter pls leave them on this one too because I feel like this chapter sucks lmao))

==Ashton's POV==

"Maddie, look at me," I say, trying to stay calm while her breathing speeds up. She keeps her eyes on my computer screen and I'm not sure how to handle this.

It's hard to just wrap my mind around it. It can't be right, he has to have a doppelgänger or something.

"Of all people," Maddie shakes her head, "Of all f*cking people."

"Maddie," I say again, reaching over her to shut the computer and she finally looks at me. Her eyes are bloodshot and her lip trembles.

This shouldn't be happening, not right now. She's triggered beyond belief and then up pops a picture, apparently, of the guy who raped her.

And yet again the fault comes back on me.

All my mind keeps wanting to go to is how similar Peter, Ethan, or whatever the hell his name is and me are. It makes me not want to trust myself, not even the little that I did to begin with.

"What is happening," she wails and I cup her face in my hands. I should have never let it get as far as it did with her today.

"Look, Mads, I didn't know."

"I would hope not," she sniffles and I try to wipe away her tears but they keep coming.

"All I know is he likes comic books and drawing and--" she glares at me and I shut up.

"I don't want to think about what he does in his free time."

Nothing I could say would help the situation at all, so I keep my mouth shut. The only thing I can do is try to understand and accept this. Figure out how to deal with it.

I wonder what this must look like to her. I can't exactly apologize when I had no clue.

He talked like an asshole sex addict and that got annoying, but I thought it was just like how I was. I didn't think he was a f*cking rapist.

"I-I don't understand," I stutter, "He said he was from Washington."

"Well, he's a sociopath," Maddie starts to push the covers off of her, kicking her legs out from under, "What do you expect?"

She gets out of my bed, swaying from side to side. I sit up straight, watching as she wipes her own tears. Not long after she falls back onto the bed and puts her head in her hands.

"I want to go home."

"I'm not letting you be by yourself like this for a second," I say, scooting closer to her. "Please stay the night."

Careful not to touch her suddenly, I gather her hair and try to braid it again. She shivers and my hands shake.

A month ago, I asked for this. I wanted a way to contact Ethan. Now I have it and I see just how horribly she would have reacted.

At least now, it isn't my fault. At least I'm right here with her with the confusion and anger.

"I'll keep you safe," I say, finishing the braid and cautiously wrapping my arms around her waist. She suddenly feels more fragile than ever beneath me, "I'm obviously going to stop talking to that waste of human life."

Maddie pulls her legs back up onto the bed and turns to me. Her eyes are heavy and I hope this means she is going to stay here tonight.

This is the worst state I have ever seen her in in my life. It wouldn't end well and if anything ever happened, I would blame myself for, once again, being the catalyst for everything.