Starry I think not (terrorcest)

5 years dead (Romantically)

A/N: remember, this story is FICTIONAL.

Tommy Lee, September 1986

I bound downstairs, ready for whatever the day has to throw at me. A lil line of coke, a swig of jack and we're good to go. Sixx wanted to meet with us today.

We're working on some new shit. Kinda under wraps and disorganized. But thats Nikki for you. I mean it's kinda how me and him do things. We're disorganized, wild, and we like to fuck shit up.

You know, sometimes I find myself wishing we had continued with our romance, because I really was falling fast for him. I love the way he talks and sounds so smart, I love how his eyes flicker mischievously when he's about to do something like pants a reporter.

But sometime ago, I made myself believe that that was just us being close friends. That we were just confused and that it was a dumb thing.

I mean I have a great thing now, I'm engaged to the love of my life Heather. Heather Locklear, a fucking beautiful queen.

I met her at an REO Speedwagon concert, and I was too shy to talk to her at first. Tommy Lee? Shy? I know, shocker.

But it's the truth, I don't know why. Lovestruck probably.

Now here we are months and months and MONTHS later and we're nearly finished with planning our wedding. Nearly. I have to ask Nikki to be my best man.

I put it off because he hasn't been in the best spirits lately, and he always seems to be on smack. Sometimes it affects his ability to play bass,or act like a decent fucking human being.

"Tommyyyyy!" Heather calls out from the kitchen.

"Yeahhhhhhhh?" I groan, shuffling into the kitchen. I was kinda hoping to get out of here without her calling me, because she doesn't like it very much when I drink.

"Yeah babe?" I ask, loping into the kitchen and brushing my hair out of my face.

She turns to me with a smile. Although there's some nervousness in her eyes. "Tommy...I just found out...I'm pregnant." She says, and my heart starts pounding.

At first I don't know if I heard correctly. "P-pregnant?" I stammer, gripping the edge of the kitchen counter.

She nods. The uncertainty is blossoming into excitement. I've always wanted to be a dad, and I always thought I would be good at it.

I wrap Heather into a giant hug, lifting her feet off the floor. "I can't believe it! This is fantastic!" I grin.

We stay like that for a few moments, before I have to peel away. "I have to go baby, I'll see you tonight!" I say, walking to the door.

On my way there my thoughts are filled with things about the baby. What will it look like? Will it be a girl or boy? Or neither? Will it want to follow in my footsteps? Heathers? Maybe it will forge its own path?

Even as we wait for Nikki to show up, because he's late again, my thoughts are cluttered about me and Heathers future child.

Me and Heather.

Our child!!!!!

I don't know if I should tell the Mötley guys yet, even though I'm practically bursting at the seams.

"Kid, chill, how much goddamn coke did you do?" Mick says, placing a calming hand on my back.

"Not much, a couple of lines." I answer, not sure if my words  even came out coherent.

The door bangs open and Nikki walks into the rehearsal room, notebook in hand, and sleeves rolled up. Every time I see him, I think of how sexy he looks.

A guilty thought slaps me. I have my future wife, and a kid on the way, and here I am, staring at my bass player.

It's just this natural hotness he has. Even disheveled, even though he doesn't smile much anymore, and when he does, he and I have done something stupid. I trail my eyes down his body, taking vague note of the fresh injection marks on his arm.

Those worry me. To be honest, if we weren't all doing drugs of some sort, I would confront him about it. But that would be hypocritical.

"Sixx?" I blurt. He looks up at me, hooded eyes hid part way beneath his spiky hair.

"Yeah?" He answers, sounding kind of hoarse.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Is it if I have new songs? Because I do, two in fact. They're called Girls Girls Girls and Wild Side.

"No, um, as you know, me and Heather are getting married..."

I swear I see a look of pain flash across his face.

"...yeah?" He answers slowly.

"Well you're my best fucking friend in the world, and I wanted you to be my best man."

"Oh-um- yeah- thanks buddy- totally." Nikki stammers.

I smile and pull him into a hug. He doesn't reciprocate and thats a little strange. I brush it off as just being the heroin.

All through rehearsal he seems moody though, and it's not just the heroin, or the fact that Vince is bitching about everything from the lighting to the vocal pitch.

I put my hand on Nikkis shoulder and he jerks, looking up at me. I swear I see tears in his eyes, but he brushes his hair into his face quickly.

"Sixx, are you alright?" I ask, for the 90,000,000,000,000 time.

He sighs, and then shrugs my hand off.

"HOW. MANY. TIMES. DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT I'M FUCKING FINE?!" He yells, tossing his bass across the room.

As the amp cord comes unhooked, it makes a loud squealing noise and I duck and cover my ears.

Nikki leaves, without another word to any of us. What the hell happened?