Starry I think not (terrorcest)

Here comes the bitch thats ruining my life

A/N: I'm in so much pain right now. Physical this time, but I haven't slept in two days. Also it's really hard for me to write 'highs' of heroin and other drugs, so I apologize in advance if some of this shits inaccurate. Also this is my 3rd consecutive chapter.

Nikki Sixx

I vomit until I'm just dry heaving. I can't breathe. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror, looking at what I've become. I'm locked in the bathroom, shooting up at my best friends wedding.

I quickly clean up, throwing away the spoon and the needle. I also put extra towels on top so  nobody sees the needle. Someone bangs on the door.

"SIXX GET YOUR DUMBASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO GO!" Vince whines.

I brush my hair away to see my eyes more clearly, making sure that it doesn't look like I've been crying. Vince pounds on the door yet again.

I steady myself as the effects of the heroin are starting to kick in. Within minutes, the pain and rejection that I felt this morning are gone. I feel fine, perfectly content.

I know it won't last long, but I don't care. I'm feeling alright, and thats all that matters. The world is starting to fade out, edges blurring, voices distorting. So I nestle myself into the couch in the room and I start to drift away.

I'm not quite asleep however, when someone puts their hand on the side of my face. I don't really care, as long as they don't try to interrupt my high.

"Nikki." Tommys deep, yet childish, excited voice rings out.

I don't want to open my eyes, so I don't. I don't owe anything to him. I showed up. And I'm gonna show up to the ceremony, and watch as my hearts torn out. Thats what my trusty heroin is for.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're absolutely beautiful, especially asleep?" He mumbles, cupping his other hand around my face.

Then, I feel a pair of lips on mine. Tommys soft, full lips. I still don't open my eyes because he thinks I'm asleep. After a moment, I don't feel them anymore, and I finally drift off.

Mick thumps me on the head a couple of minutes later. I'm jolted from a dream, relieved I'm still feeling the high.

"Sixx are you on smack?" Tommy asks in disbelief.

I shake my head, not even looking at him. Partly because everything's a little blurry. I stand up, my legs feeling hollow as I crash into the coffee table.

"SHIT!" I yell, stumbling back and standing dizzily against the wall.

"I can't believe you're high at my wedding!" Tommy exclaims, running his hands through his hair.

"You should be too. Pretty sure you were high when you made the decision to marry her." I fire back, picking at my dress coat.

"You- I'm sorry what?" Tommy stumbles.

"You heard me."

"Oh my god both of you shut the fuck up!" Vince interjects, fluffing his hair and putting on his sunglasses.

"Sorry..." I mumble, giving his shoulder a comforting pat.

With the way Tommys acting, I'm starting to think that I dreamed the kiss, which breaks me inside.

"Lee. Five minutes." Mick warns.

We make our way to the venue, standing under the altar. Tommy waits nervously, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet and occasionally tapping me.

I'm gonna rip his goddamn feet off. "What if she decides she doesn't want to marry me?" He suddenly gasps, grabbing me by the lapels.

"She...mngrh." I respond, my mind drifting.

Well good, because I don't want her to marry you.

Suddenly, 'Here comes the bride' kicks in. Tommys suddenly facing forward, gasping when he sees Heather.

I glance at her, before training my eyes on the far wall again, just wanting to get this over with. I can only understand small bits of this, and I thank heroin for that. Otherwise this would've been way more painful.

Still hurts like hell though. I look over as they hold hands, ring bearer waiting not too far away.

"...and do you, Heather, take Tommy as the love of your life in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?" The minister says.

Mini A/N: I don't know wedding vows. I'm in highschool, that shits far off. Back to the story.

She beams. "I do." She says.

I'm gonna vomit. Then I'm gonna pass out. Then I'm gonna vomit some more. Then I'm gonna choke on my vomit and die. That would be the ideal situation. But no, I can't even die a humiliating death in front of 500 people.

"You may kiss the bride."

And just like that, they're wrapped in a passionate kiss. I wish Tommy would do that to me. But realistically, even if he did have feelings for me, which I'm sure I imagined, we couldn't get married. I think it's illegal here.

I don't stick around for the reception, instead going home, and back to my secret hell. One that I'll live in for the rest of my life. Which hopefully won't be long. I don't know how I'm gonna live without Tommy.