Starry I think not (terrorcest)

Gotta get out there

Tommy Lee

'Your soulmate is not someone who comes into your life peacefully. It IS who comes to make you question things, who changes your reality, somebody who marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealized, but an ordinary person, who manages to revolutionize your world in a second.'.

I don't remember where I heard that from. I think it was a TV show I once watched while getting high with Nikki. But right now, that quote is racing through my mind as I pack.

I hear the rooms door close and I look up. It's Heather. She leans against the door, watching me with a hurt look in her eyes. I know she wants me to explain what I'm doing, but I don't think I can talk without crying.

"Tommy what are you doing?" She asks after a long moment.

"Heather....I'm...I'm going back..." I choke out, my voice cracking more with every word.

"Seriously Tommy?! Why?! This is our honeymoon, you aren't supposed to be working or talking about Mötley!" She complains.

"Heather Nikki got hit with a car. He could die, and Doc won't tell me whats happening. Sometimes there are things that are just a little more important than a superficial vacation." I burst, slamming my suitcase closed.

I already called the airport to see if there was a plane back. There was and I bought a ticket almost instantaneously.

As I grab my duffel bag, I pull a scrap of paper out. Nikki gave me this right before I left. He took it out of his tux pocket, placed it in my hand, and just walked off.

I didn't think much of it. But now I'm curious, I want to know what it says. At the same time, I'm nervous. What if it says that I'm out of the band? What if it says he hates me or something?

My palms are sweaty, almost sticking to the paper as I gingerly unfold it. Then I begin reading.

I apologize
That your memory serves you more than I can now

You'll have to make sense of my life somehow
Yeah, somehow

Well, I close my eyes
Remove each piece of armor one by one
Inhale this moment deep into my lungs
Make amends for all I've done

All of my devils are free at last
And all my secrets revealed
And your permission is all I
Need to heal

Well how long have I
Been sitting here, I must have drifted off
I cannot finish any of my thoughts
Forgive me for my wayward shot

All of my devils are free at last
And all my secrets revealed
And your permission is all I
Need to heal

I wake up in the morning, and it comes back to you

I breathe in I breathe out, it comes back to you
I stare up at the ceiling, and it comes back to you

I step out my front door, and it comes back to you

The end of my driveway, it comes back to you
Brake lights on the highway, it comes back to you

I could die in Los Angeles.
It would come back to you.

All of my devils, they are free at last, oh
And all my secrets are revealed, yeah
And your permission is all that I,
I need to feel

All of my devils, they are free at last, oh
And all my secrets are revealed, yes they are
And your permission is all that I need.

I'm so confused. These are almost like lyrics to a song.

At the end, written in his barely legible handwriting is a PS

P.S. Tommy I gave this to you for a reason. If I didn't give it to you and you found it after I died, well then I'm sorry. I hope this finds you somehow. This is a song that I wrote, to you. Whatever you do, DO. NOT. GIVE. THIS. TO VINCE!

I sit down on the bed, suddenly feeling dizzy. I don't quite get what he's trying to tell me. I'll ask him when I get there. Does this mean he could possibly feel the same way towards me?

No, impossible, Sixx is the straightest guy I know, besides my dad. I guess I'm going to have to swallow my feelings when I get there, act like I don't love him to death, act like I won't scoop him in my arms and kiss him until my lips go numb.

Act like a human being.