Sapphire's Review Store 4.0

Review by Faye: Death Rose For You, My Love

Title: Death Rose For You, My Love

Author: meow16_

Reviewer: Fayesther

Cover and Title (4/5)

A lovely picture choice. It is pleasing to the eye and reflects the mood of your poetry collection well. The choice of font and the size of the letters work well. However, the red, cursive letters are a bit dark and get lost in the background, if you made them a brighter shade of red it'll work well.

The title of your book is a good hook into the themes of your book. It managed to grab my attention and fits your poetry collection perfectly.

Blurb (4/5)

The concept of the blurb is effective for introducing your poetry collection. I did however notice some grammar errors here and there and would advise revising the execution of it.

Grammar (3/5)

Whilst reading through your book I noticed a few grammatical errors here and there. I pinpointed a few as I read. I also would like to mention a few here.

I noticed some tense swaps here and there

Also there were instances where you missed out words.

Example: "All I care is you" edit: "All I care about is you."

Also the line, "Please don't treat me like anything." – reading this line in the context of the stanza, it seemed to be missing a word and therefore falls short in expressing the idea I believe you're going for. The way it is written makes it sound like the poet wants to be left alone, but the context of the stanza suggests the opposite; "Please don't treat me like just anything." Would work better to express this.

Within "Drunken Idiot"...

"Unless and until you too have." – this line reads confusingly. Edit: "Unless or until you have them too."

And...

"If you're happy leaving me back,

Then I am ready to be left back."

The word "back" is an unnecessary addition, which makes this stanza read clumsily.

Edit:

"If you're happy to leave me,

Then I am happy to be left."

Writing style (5/5)

Your writing style is consistent throughout your poetry collection.

Your poems display, really well, that you don't need to include rhymes to create a good flow. Instead you use other tools within your writing to showcase deep emotion.

One tool being repeating key words. This was incredibly effective. The repetitive nature of each poem's voice emphasized the desperation within the more dramatic themes expressed.

You explored a nice range of moods through your wonderful choices of words. The sorrowful poems are powerfully expressed and the warmer ones brighten up the mood sufficiently

Each poem was structured nicely making each of their stories easy to follow. "Blindfolded Love" is especially well thought out; each stanza follows the same pattern – repeating the phrase "I don't know" at the start then bringing up a possible negative trait, then its counter positive and finishing it with the poet's blind hope. You managed to cover a number of different/important traits in another person and also managed to express how lost the poet feels really well.

Your writing style makes your poems look like they could easily fit in a pop melody. I can clearly imagine these words being lyrics to songs.

Originality (5/5)

This poetry collection have a unique and consistent voice. You managed to explore a number of emotional moments from a number of different perspectives authentically. You did all this and stayed true to your own personal style. I found this impressive to read.

Each poem shared a story. They displayed good levels of ups and downs, hopes and regrets. Each situation you wrote about was really relatable.

Usually I don't like having author's notes at the end of each poem in poetry books. But I found the explanatory paragraphs that you wrote added depth to each chapter. You gave just the right amount of information to help the reader connect more with your work. Good job!

I love the message of "Hate is Nothing" it is beautiful and full of faith in humanity's true intentions. I appreciate poems that contain moral messages like this. It's this sort of writing that can inspire others and help change the world for the better!

Overall (21/25)

A poetry collection full of emotion and relatable social situations. You explore thought processes in an interesting and creative way. Your poems are lyrical and have a nice flow. After ironing out the few grammatical corrections needed here and there you'll have a truly impactful poetry book.

Your writing is engaging and your ideas are interesting.

Thank you so much for asking me to review this emotional collection of poems. I hope you found my feedback helpful.