Jackson

XV

I've been in the hospital for 4 days, and in that time Ruri was the only one that came to visit me.

I called my parents but the never answered. I called my brother and sister they never answered either. I even called Mickey it didn't even ring.

I wasn't mad or sad, now I just don't give a fuck anymore. I left my parents a message saying don't visit me and my brother and sister.

For Mickey since he went out on a limb to block me with no reason why, when I see him it's over.

I can't be with a nigga that don't want to be with me.

I'm getting too old to be chasing a boy don't want to be captured. Now I'm going to live my life and me happy. I've put time into a relationship for nothing, and all can say is you live and you learn.

Around 2pm, Ruri came to the hospital to pick me up. Treatment was done for now and next week I would have to come back for treatment again.

The doctors said theirs a high chance of surviving and in the probability that I don't I need to live life.

So—I decided to make a bucket list. Their wouldn't be a lot on it but there'll be things on it.

"Hey what you writing" Ruri from
The drivers seat

"My bucket list" I responded

"Your what" she asked side eyeing me
"my bucket list" I spoke again continuously writing

Ruri instantly stomped on the breaks. If I wasn't wearing a seatbelt my whole 5'4 body would have went straight through the window.

"OH MY LORD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. WE COULD HAVE DIED RURI!"

"Oh just like your planning to do" I was shocked. I was literally stuck. My brain couldn't even form a full sentence the only words that came out were "huh?"

"If you could huh, you could hear me" an again all that came out was "huh?"

"Okay, let me break it down for you a little bit more. Your sitting here making a bucket list, indicating that your ready to die. Like what the fuck is this. Are you joking right now. Do you not care about how I feel—" she uttered. Words couldn't describe how shitty and selfish I felt right now.

I was worried about my own self and not thinking about how this was effecting people around me.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry"

"Are you really? Cause it don't seem like you want to live anyway"

"What makes you think that?"

"THE FUCKING BUCKET LIST POLLY. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE"

"Dude, I'm trying to live okay, but if I can't I want to accomplish that I've always wanted to do and you can't stop Ruri" she glanced at me for a few seconds before starting up the car, and driving back on the road.

The whole way to my hotel, Ruri didn't say on word. I tried talking to her, showing her funny videos, even played the radio but it was pure silence, an when we reached the hotel she zoomed off as soon as I step out the car.

Walking towards the main entrance I saw a figure sitting on the steps of the stares.

He was moving around indicating that he was beyond uncomfortable, an when I stepped a little bit closer I recognize him instantly.

I glared for a second, scrunched my eyebrows, shook my head then walked right passed. I didn't have the time not patience to deal with him today.

I could see from the side of my eye that he was following me, an once he grabbed my hand I stopped in my tracks.

"What do you want? Please tell why your here?" I spoke rolling my eyes and snatching my wrist back

"I haven't seen you in a long time, so I just want to check up on you" he replied smirking at me

"Well maybe it's because I was in the hospital" responding back to him unfazed

He eyes grew wide, showing that he had no idea I was in the hospital for that long. He's smile dropped and it grew into a small frown. I couldn't tell if he felt pity for me or if he was just genuinely concerned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" he said shaking his head

"How could you" I said shrugging my shoulders

"Was Mickey there?" His face changing from sad to anger

"I called but he never answered, only ruri came to see me and it was enough" i turned my head slightly so we would see the hurt in my eyes cause if I look into his right now I don't know what would happen to me "hey I'm kind of tired, I think I'm going to head inside an take a nap" changing the subject

"Okay I'm coming with i don't want you to be alone, you don't deserve it" he said grabbing my bag placing on his shoulders  and waiting for me to lead the way.

I looked at him again for a few seconds, then gave in. I was to tired to argue with him and hopefully one I knock out he'd probably dip you know.

When we were finally were inside my small hotel bedroom, I grabbed a towel and rushed to take a shower. Once I finally finished I got dress and exited.

He was laying on the bed fully undressed , under the covers sleeping soundly. His now growing hair made him look even cuter and I couldn't help the smile that creep onto the edges on my lips.

He was here when I didn't need him and shows that sometimes he has a really big heart for the littlest people.

I placed the towel on the rack then walked over to the bed. Placing my small body under the covers, I turnt over giving him some space to sleep. But it didn't turn out that way. He must of notice my small frame and turnt over with me, and pulled me towards his chest I was happy but confused and I need to let him know

"Don't do this to me Jackson okay please don't" my voice whispered

"Do what?" He said in a raspy voice that sent chills down my back

"Lead me on. I can't handle another heart break" I said turning to face him now. He opened his eyes analyzing me trying to figure out if I was serious.

"Shhhhh let's go to bed I'm tired and we'll talk more when we wake up" kissing my forehead and pulling onto his chest to sleep.

Before closing my eyes as well I lifted up a little kissed his lips in which he returned. I laid back down closed my eyes and drifted into a deep sleep.