Wildfire and Stars Eternal

Chapter 18: The Aftermath

I should be pissed. I should be furious. I should be so angry I can hardly see, let alone speak.

But somehow, I'm not. Despite everything, I do believe that I know Aelin. She and I are a lot alike, and in the same situation, I would have done anything to return to my family. Even trusting the enemy. 

As for her bringing Mala to Velaris... well, if anything, it'd helped us learn their real plan. 

I watched Aelin run her fingers through her hair, the golden locks pulling free of her braid to fall across her face. She'd sat back down on her bed, next to the sword leaning against it. She finally glanced up to meet my eyes again. 

I didn't know if Aelin realized how different she looked. Even before I knew she'd used the Cauldron, I could tell something had changed. The fire that usually burned beneath her eyes had been muted, the gold circles around her pupils dimmed by glittering black smoke. It reminded me of how Amren's eyes used to look, the irises in constant movement as that starry smoke swirled around, contained just beneath her skin. 

Aelin had been powerful before, but now that she held magic from both worlds in her hands, she gave off an almost ethereal feeling. Like she was something just out of reach, a being of creation. 

"It was too easy," She said. "I can see it now." 

I sat down beside her and glanced over at Mor, who was still fuming by the door. She rolled her eyes, but left the room, closing the door behind her. 

"Aelin, what happened exactly? How'd you get away? All we could get out of Mala was that you stole some of the Cauldron's power." 

Aelin hung her head over her knees, her hands on her neck. "I stabbed Deanna." 

My eyebrows went up, and I met Rowan's eyes. For some reason, he didn't look surprised. 

"So if you stabbed Deanna-" He pulled Aelin's sword from the sheath around his waist. "How did Goldryn end up in Terrasen?" 

Aelin raised her head and stared at the blade. She took it from Rowan's hands, balancing it across her palms. "I left it in her to get to the Cauldron. I'd hoped... well, I remembered what you told me about being connected to it." She glanced at me, her head tilted slightly. "I thought maybe I'd have the same connection." 

"Did you?" I asked. 

"Sort of?" Her brow scrunched up. "When I touched it, I could feel this... not quite-living thing searching me. It was aware, but it wasn't alive. I think it debated whether or not to kill me." 

"But it didn't. Obviously. So what changed?" I pressed. 

"Well, Deanna pulled Goldryn out of herself. Then she used magic to send it away. To Terrasen, I suppose." She looked again at her mate. "Then she came after me again. The Cauldron had ahold of me. I couldn't have moved if I wanted to." 

Rowan had gone so still, it appeared he was made of stone. "But?" 

"But then Deanna healed herself. Using your magic, Feyre." Again, she turned to face me. But this time, there was a slight spark in her eyes. "The Cauldron only acted after she spoke your name."

My heart stuttered a bit. "So what did it do?" 

"Practically burned her to death. When I left her, she was barely more than a charred husk." Aelin didn't sound the least bit sorry about it. 

"How did Mala convince you to take her along?" Rowan asked. Aelin sighed through her nose, looking at the floor.

"She told me she could get us off the island. Wyrdgates weren't working, and neither of us could winnow. She also claimed she knew their real plan." She growled slightly. "Which, obviously, she did. The bitch." 

"So you used the Cauldron? Took some of my power?" 

Aelin nodded, guilt clouding her features. "I'm sorry. I'll return it, somehow, if I can." 

I waved her off. "It's not like I need it right now anyway. I have plenty." 

Aelin still looked unsure. She opened her mouth, then shut it, glancing at Rowan. They stared at each other for a moment, then he pushed off the wall, took Goldryn from her hands, and left the room. 

Aelin sagged in her chair the minute the door closed behind him. She groaned and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. I felt my eyebrows draw together and laid a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?" 

Aelin laughed bitterly. "Everything. I'm in another world, I've left my home in the hands of my court, the gods of old are out for my blood, and I've become just another pawn in their games. Again." She growled, standing up and beginning to pace. She tucked some stray hair behind her ears, revealing spots of dried blood on her cheeks. 

"Feyre, the Cauldron only gave me your magic after I'd told it that I knew your sisters, and you." She said, her voice low. "And this... winnowing that I can do. It feels wrong. It doesn't feel like me." 

I stood up, then staggered a bit when my vision clouded. Aelin noticed, and glanced at me, alarmed. 

"Are you alright?" She asked, tilting her head to the side and stopping her pacing. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. 

"Fine. Just dizzy," I said, stepping up to stand in front of her. "You say this new power feels wrong. What do you mean?" 

She spread her hands. Dark smoke appeared, pouring out of her palms and rolling to the floor in waves. "This isn't me. My magic isn't responding like it normally does. It's as if..." She hesitated, closing her fists and smothering the smoke. "It's as if it feels betrayed by me taking on the power of another world. It's fighting me." 

I tilted my head slightly, examining her. "I don't think that's it." 

She met my eyes, and again I noticed the movement just under her irises. "What do you think, then?" 

I took her wrist and pulled her over to the mirror, then pointed at her eyes. "Do you see that?" 

Her cheeks paled. "That's certainly... odd." She met my eyes in the mirror. "What do you think it means?" 

"I think our magic is trying to find a way to coexist," I admitted, straightening up. "You remember when we met. We fought like two alleycats." 

Aelin laughed. "Ah, yes, I remember." She poked my shoulder teasingly. "I hope you recall that I kicked your sorry ass." 

I rolled my eyes. "That's not important. What's important is that we ended up getting along. I believe the same can be said of our magic." 

Aelin glanced back to the mirror, examining her reflection. "I hope you're right, Feyre." 

Amazing Illyrian Feyre cosplay by shakespeareandme!!

I literally only made the "alleycat" comparison because I remembered this interview where SJM said that if Feyre and Aelin did ever meet, they'd fight like two cats XD