Summer of 83~ Johnny Lawrence x Reader (Karate Kid)

~4~

I must have turned those words upside down in my mind over and over again, searching for any sickening, hidden intention. Nothing. I found nothing. Every time I replayed his voice in my head, it turned out wholesome and pure.

He meant it. Those words. My right now. From the very first time I heard them, to just last night, those three words rampaged my brain. Nothing. It wasn't some sick joke or a type of manipulation to catch me off guard, it was true.

What does that even mean? I know what it means. I just don't want to come to terms with it. For now I'll just smoke a cigarette and try to forget.

The power that drug has for me is insane. I know it'll kill me. I know it's killing me. However it's my way to focus and forget. If Johnny found out I've been smoking again, he'd probably be pissed.

I inhaled sharply, causing Daniel to look at me with concern. He hasn't said anything about the cigarettes. Not anything I would want to hear at least.

"You shouldn't do that," Daniel whispered as we neared the school.

I smiled at him weakly, "I know, but what can you do?" That shut Daniel down pretty quickly. He didn't like trying to stop me from bad habits. My response is always agreeing with him. And I know it bugs him.

"Well I'll see you later, have fun with History," Daniel called out, rushing to join Ali in the halls. I've noticed this past few weeks he's been walking her to History class. Not me.

I let out an airy exhale before dropping the cigarette to the ground and grinding it into the pavement. He'll leave me soon. Us getting together was a heat in the moment thing.

Sadly both of us have turned ice cold. We're just too scared to break one another's heart, so we keep quiet. I'll talk to him about it at the end of the day. He'll be relieved that he's off the hook.

"What the fuck is this?" A rough voice boomed, causing me to flip my head up. There he was.

"What is what?" I asked, even though I knew what he was talking about and why he was so mad about it.

Johnny bent down and picked up the shriveled cigarette I had hanging from my mouth just a few seconds ago. He looked at it with disgust.

"You're doing this again? For how long?" Johnny pestered, crushing the drug between his fingers.

I glared at him, "it's none of your business, Johnny."

When a moment of silence passed I decided to dismiss myself. To my dismay Johnny had fast reflexes and grabbed my wrist tightly. He held it close to his chest.

I turned to him and gave him a pleading look,"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well we're fucking going to. You relapsed and didn't even bother to call me," Johnny muttered, his voice angry and gruff.

I pulled my wrist back to my chest, "That would've been odd, wouldn't it? You and Ali broke up that afternoon, why would you want more worries piling on top of you?"

Johnny looked at me with narrowed eyes, "You've been smoking since then?"

I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, "I don't see why it matters, besides I'm going to be late for History class."

"You hate History class, Y/n. You can skip for today," Johnny grumbled. I turned away from him, not wanting to look at his hurt blue eyes.

"I really can't, I have a test today," With that I was gone. What I left was an upset Johnny and a crushed cigarette that sparked the shitty conversation.

My right now. I wonder if he still thinks that of me now. Would he scold me but let me continue my habit like my mother?

Her disappointed voice echoed in my head with shrill screams, "I can't believe you right now! You're fucking smoking again!? What did I do to be cursed with such a fuck up!"

Pretty houses with pretty rich families aren't always what they seem. Sometimes it means you want to focus and forget. Sometimes it means your boyfriend is in love with your ex friend.

Sometimes it means that you punish yourself by pushing away the one you love. Sometimes it means pointless rumors being spread about you because they can't do anything to you because of your status.

I would kill for them to beat me to a pulp. To be able to get away with it. I want to be punished for all the pain I've caused. I'd trade smoking for that any day. At least I wouldn't have to hurt myself in such a slow way.

I stood in front of my History class. You can skip today. You hate History class. I shrugged my shoulders and walked to the side of the school and hid behind a bush.

I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket and a lighter. The same pocket that held that note. I feel bad that it's the same pocket. The one where Johnny's note was.

It felt like I was silently saying "fuck you" to him even though that's not what I want at all. All I want is to be in his arms. But I know I can't.

And because of that, I pressed the cigarette between my lips and inhaled. This is what my life looks like. It's a piss poor life but it's what I got.

A black and white poster sitting next to me caught my attention.

West Valley High's HallOween Party!!!
Wear a costume! 6:00pm.
October, 31st.

I arched an eyebrow. Maybe I'll go.

I felt really good about this chapter. Anyways thank you guys so much for reading and enjoying, I really appreciate it!