Strive // Kai Parker

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Kai

I've been through the works before, a kidnapping, a murder, some sort of crime against the Gemini. Each and every time i had been level headed, calm, collected. Thinking everything through like some intricate puzzle. Yet all sense seemed to leave me the moment i found out Azzy wasn't coming home.

I must have driven to and from the bakery she had told me she was going to multiple times before i realised she was no where to be found. I had searched the route i knew she would have taken home, cursing myself for not driving her there in the first place. My panic finally set in around the three hour mark. Her phone? Off. Her car? Gone. 

By hour four i had reverted to my roots. Locater spell after locater spell, no where to be found. I didn't get much sleep that night, or any of the nights she wasn't by my side. I didn't even step foot in our room or attempt the tedious task that was once so effortless. The four walls were a reminder of what i was missing, as if i hadn't been thinking about her all day everyday.

 I laid awake, eyes burning from lack of release and the tears that constantly wanted to escape me. I had screamed my throat roar on many of those nights. For every moment of the day without her it was like i was back in the prison world. Alone and dancing on the brink of sanity. Like i had been abandoned and left to scream in the aching world i had found true resentment in.

I snapped at anything and everyone when i left our home. Only every talking to people who could get me answers, only ever eating when gumbo would whine and cry for me to. He reminded me of her, how she would want me to sustain myself, keep looking for her like she would for me. Even the memory of her kept me alive.

When the week mark hit i switched from despair and loneliness to unbridled rage. I spent my nights working and searching. It stayed like that until i finally got her back. I won't lie, there were nights when i was a mixture of both, screaming with rage and agony. Breaking anything that tempted my bottled rage, but now it was nullified.

Azalea was in my arms right now, snuggled and sleeping as if she needed this as much as i did. Her soft skin glowed in the dimly lit room and i found my self unable to sleep for another reason. I didn't want to close my eyes on her ever again, i needed to make sure she was safe. It seemed like a sin to let myself drift off when i had spent all those hours searching for her only to get her back and close my eyes on her. So i stayed awake, enduring the fight for consciousness just to gaze upon her a while longer.

She let out a breath, nuzzling her head into the side of my chest, my arm instinctively wrapping tighter around her in a weak attempt to keep her there. A day, she had been back for, a day and i had followed her around like a lost puppy. Contently with a smile opposed to the scowl i had been wearing constantly. 

For a year i had abused the right of sleeping in her presence, underestimating how easy and serene she made the simple act. It only took losing her for me to realise just how much she meant to me. And in the dimly lit bedroom of our apartment i couldn't help but think of the possibilities between us. All the time i had already wasted.

Her small hand laid next to her head on my chest. I took it in my own admiring the way the ring i gave her sat idly. Marriage. Was a possibility for us, I'd waited a year unsure of how long people normally waited. I wanted to wait until her 19th birthday, pop the question in some show of affection.

"Kai?" Her tired voice made my attention move to her face, even the way she said my name made my heart beat faster.

"Yes baby?" I asked quietly as her eyes fluttered open and shut, fighting to stay awake.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Tiredly she pouted, eyes remaining closed for a while longer.

"Was i snoring?" She asked one eye opening to look at me. A tired chuckle left my mouth. 

"No babe." She scrunched her nose, moving further into my body.

"Then why aren't you sleeping?" She asked again. I moved onto my side, facing her smaller frame, brushing a strand of her curled hair from her warm cheek.

"I missed you." She nodded eyes blinking open as she looked to me through her lashes.

"I know, i missed you as well." Gumbo hopped on the bed, pushing him self up through the blankets and laying by her side, i didn't blame him for picking her tonight. I would of to.

She curled an arm around my body, fighting to keep her eyes open long enough as she stared up at me.

"I'm not going back to sleep until you do." She told me, i laughed quietly. Knowing she wouldn't last more them five minutes max.

"Okay okay." I closed my eyes tugging us all together, laying in the warmth of her embrace. She began to pepper small kisses over my face, taking all the tension in my skin as each one landed on me. Her movements got slower and i knew now that she was only awake because i still was.

"I love you." I whispered finally letting myself melt into the bed.

"I love you to Kai." With one final kiss to the corner of my lips she resigned to slumber herself, trailing her fingers along my arm to let me know she was still awake for me. Until eventually the soft touch and warmth i had missed pathed the way to the rest i was dying for.