Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru [DISCONTINUED]

17: The Calm After The Storm

A/N: The songs I mention here are "Fuck You Bitch" and "I Like Smoking Pot (A Lot)", both by Wheeler Walker! I highly recommend them, they're super funny!

Anyway, I hope you all can enjoy the chapter!

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"So...you and Rengoku, huh?" Uzui tries to make conversation, "He seems really interested in you."

You furrow your eyebrows, "Rengoku?"

"Are you two planning on fucking anytime soon? Or..." Uzui trails  off, "I thought Kamado really liked you too. So who knows, you might get that double whammy."

You chuckle, "You know I can't understand you."

Uzui huffs, he didn't care that neither of you two could understand each other. He was going to talk anyway.

"When Master Oyakata had mentioned it to you, at least I think he did, you got really depressed about it." Uzui comments, "You got self confidence issues or what?"

You hum, not really paying attention.

"Well...if it's any consolation, Rengoku has never expressed himself so flamboyantly like that before. I don't think I've ever seen him so interested in another person before either. So, don't think too much about it, and know that Rengoku meant what he said."

You don't respond, not like you could anyway. You don't know what he said.

——

The journey to the Butterfly Estate was a lot longer than you thought it would be. So, you took this time to rant to the former shinobi. Just as he did to you earlier.

"And so I told (F/n)," You click your tongue, "I was like, 'Bruno Mars is not dead! He was just getting some dick!' I mean, we've all been there."

Uzui sighs, he wasn't unable to understand you but he just knew from the tone of your voice to know you were talking about something extremely weird.

You nod eagerly, "Right? And so then I was like, '(F/n), just do me a favor for me when I die.' You know what I said?"

Uzui shakes his head in defeat.

You took this as him responding to your upward tone, "I was like, 'When I die, (F/n), I want you to mix my ashes in a bowl of chili, then I want you to eat it. Just so I can tear that ass up one more time.' And he told me to go to hell! So I stabbed him!"

You actually did stab your best friend (F/n) when you were 11. You can't find it in yourself to regret it. And besides, he's only been stabbed twice! You've been stabbed 4 times as that!

Uzui had to resist the urge to drop you, but he wasn't that much of an asshole.

"By the way, if you're going to stab someone, always make sure to stab and twist the knife," You make a stabbing motion then twist your hand in the air, "If you stab without twisting, it will just leave a slit that can be easily mended. If you twist, it leaves a hole that can't easily be mended."

Uzui looks at you, worried. Why did you act like you were stabbing someone? What the hell were you talking about? Should he be worried?

"So yeah," You sigh, "That's the story of how I accidently saved (F/n) from internal bleeding from a blood clot, and stabbing him in the ribs relieved it. And the motivation for 11 year old me to finally decide to become a surgeon!"

Uzui really wants to shout at you, but decides against it. This was going to be a long journey.

——