Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru [DISCONTINUED]

126: Remind Me Why I Can't Just Go Home

A/N: Hi Hello! Chapters will continue to be sparse for a while longer. In the meantime, have this very domestic time with our rich man Nao who is not a love interest!!

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“Is that all you wish to say?”

You lean back into the couch: “What more can I say, Nao?”

“...Right.”

Nao lets the paper sit on the table so the ink can dry, sitting right next to you. There’s no doubt a crow has already sent the news that Kyojuro has been killed, but you wouldn’t feel good about not sending Senjuro a letter anyway.

Inosuke had isolated himself in one of the guest rooms Nao had provided for him, you don’t blame him though. He just witnessed you and Nao kill innocents on this mission. Not only that, he was the one who found you cradling Kyojuro’s body while crying your heart out. There was another corpse by Kyojuro with what looked like [h/c] and [s/c] tar-like substance dripping off it.

You can only guess what happened. That Kyojuro had strongly believed the one who he killed was the demon, only to be tricked into thinking it was you when in actuality it was a random person. But in his grief nonetheless, Delmo took that advantage to kill Kyojuro at his most vulnerable moment.

Despite crying for him and having watched the light leave his eyes, you can’t… truly believe he’s gone. It’s just too cruel and unfair, especially the way he died. It can’t be real. It all would’ve been for nothing. You might as well have let him die from Akaza, maybe then he wouldn’t have died mourning you. He suffered and it’s all your fault. You’re always there when your friends die, it’s all your fault.

You don’t know who killed Delmo, it was either Inosuke or Nao, but neither of them showed signs of taking credit for it. Delmo’s death did nothing to soothe your heart, this victory was bitter and you don’t know if you can handle the fight back at the sword-smith village. But you know you can’t just leave them there, if there’s any chance you can fix things, you have to try.

"You're crying."

You're brought out of your thoughts thanks to Nao, rapidly blinking away the tears in your waterline.

"No shit, Sherlock," You sniff, the tears stubbornly roll down your cheeks, "One of the m-most important people i-in my life… died…"

Your head is in pain from crying so much before. But now it's nearly unbearable because fucking Kazuki made you think about Kyojuro.

"Kyojuro is dead, Akaza is dead. Gerik is dead…!" You lean forward and hide your face in your hands, "I… I'm so scared!"

Nao didn't know what to do or say. He doesn't know you well enough to offer words of comfort, and he's not the emotional type either, so he can't really understand the feeling of grief.

"I-I used to not give a shit a-about dying! Death was-was just a weird th-thing that happened to-to everyone! Bu-But now… Oh, God, Nao! I'm-I'm so terrified!" You sob pathetically, "Everyone is-is dying, and I'm next!"

"(Y/n), get a hold of yourself!" Nao grabs you by the shoulders, "You need to breathe, slow down. You're okay."

"Nao. I… am going… to die here."

"Then leave." Nao sighs and smooths the fabric on your shoulders, "I do not really understand why someone as kind as you would join the Demon Slayer Corps. I am filing it as having the urge to do the right thing, regardless if it's personally beneficial to you. You just… feel as if you have to because for some reason, you cannot help but feel guilty knowing you can do something about it."