The Sums of Us

The Awakening

I'd tell myself you don't mean a thing
But what we got, got no hold on me?
But when you're not there I just crumble
I tell myself that I don't care that much
But I feel like I'm dying till I feel your touch

Only love, only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this

Say I wouldn't care if you walked away
But every time you're there I'm begging you to stay
When you come close I just tremble
And every time, every time you go
It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul

Your kisses burning to my skin
Only love can hurt like this
But if the sweetest pain
Burning hot through my veins
Love is torture makes me more sure

(Only Love Can Hurt Like This, Paloma Faith)

The Gardening

"Tell me honestly, what's your most least favorite scene?" He asked, as he dug the soil with the shovel. I wanted to help him but he asked me to prepare the mulch and compost, so we can mix with the soil before we shovel them together and raise beds for the garden. We have soaked most of the seeds in the kitchen. According to him, soaking would help the plants to grow better. He also went to Anna to borrow another spade and garden hoe. Clearly, he knew about gardening. I looked at our surrounding, the garden plot situated just a walk from my French windows. The sun shone directly on the plot, meaning, my garden was getting full sun all year round, considering LA never had their share of snow.

"The last scene.." I answered slowly. I put the mulch and compost in the wheelbarrow, used my hands to mix them together, and I was thankful for buying these gloves. These would help preparing the soil for planting.

"The sex scene?" He asked, quite surprised with my answer. I crouched on the ground to grab another handful of mulch and compost. I wiped my forehead which now smelled a lot like damp earth. So much so of Miss Attenborough.

"No, the last scene.." I said nonchalantly. "Is this enough?" I asked him, showing him the wheelbarrow. He wiped his face with his striped shirt. I felt guilty just by looking at the beautiful shirt. He didn't have proper shirt for gardening, so he was wearing one of his casual shirt. I prevented him from wearing his white shirts, because I knew gardening would ruined all the shirts. His striped shirt was soaked with sweat.

"What?" He looked at me.

"You are soak with sweat." I told him, pointing to his back. He smiled. "You thirsty?" I asked him, concerned looking at his flushed face. He shook his head.

"It's all right. I'll get it later. Do you want a glass of water yourselves?" He asked me back. I shook my head.

"Later. I want to finish with this. So that after lunch, we can mix them and prep them until tomorrow. Do you think we can start planting tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow's good." He looked at me, amused. I smiled back. "That," he pointed to the wheelbarrow, "is enough. Just put it on the side. I have another two more plots to dig and shovel. When it's ready, we can mix the compost and the soil here. Then we can start raising the beds. I'll use the shovel and you can use Anna's garden hoe."

"You are a pro. My apology for yesterday." I said, crediting him for his helps and skills. He chuckled. He continued with digging.

"It's something I like to do. I want to do. Other than football." He said, digging more and more soil. I walked to his plot.