The Sums of Us

The After Taste

I don't want to wait anymore I'm tired of looking for answers
Take me some place where there's music and there's laughter
I don't know if I'm scared of dying but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow
Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no I've got to go
There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
And you've just gotta keep on keeping on
Gotta keep on going, looking straight out on the road
Can't worry 'bout what's behind you or what's coming for you further up the road
I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong
I try to keep on keeping on
Yeah I just keep on keeping on

I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won't take the easy road

(My Silver Lining, First Aid Kit)

Perth, September 2018

Filming concluded around the end of August 2018. We all went our separate ways. Most of the cast went back to LA and he went back to London. I went back to Perth somewhere early September and stayed until middle October 2018. It was a period where I recuperated from the exhaustion and evaluated myself as an actor. I was sending numbers of audition tapes for various movies, and was patiently waiting for the good news, or no news. My mind was rejuvenated being at home with my parents and the cats my mom came to love dearly. Now that Kat and me were working far away from Perth, cats were her only solace and friends at home.

"So when is the movie out?" My mom was more excited than me, asking about After almost everyday. I laughed.

"Mom, they don't even start with compiling the whole movie.. it will take sometimes.." I explained to her, telling her it will be quite sometimes next year.

"I've seen the After Movie Instagram account. Not many photo yet, but I like the one on the bed." She nudged me, as she reached for the plates.

"Mom!" I protested with a smile. She rolled her eyes at me, well, that was where I got my attitude from!

"It's sweet, like they said, their chemistry is insane." She arranged the roast chicken on the dining table.

"That's called acting, Mom!" I nudged her back, bringing the lemonade on the table.

"Want to tell me more?" She asked, winking at me like a naughty girl. I burst into laugh.

"You are ridiculous!"

"Excuse me young lady, I am a fan." She tapped on the table, making me laugh more.

"Honestly mom, there's nothing more than acting. There's nothing to spill to you.."

"Awww... spill. That's a new millenia word for me." She said, smiling and shaking her head.

"Yes mom, spill.." I said, amused with her observation on us, the younger generation.

"Stephen darling.. we are hungry as wolves. You better hurry.." She called for my dad, who was too focused on that TV show.

"Coming.." he switched off the TV and came to the table. He sat beside my mom, kissing her cheek as he sat. He winked at me. My mom giggled. He looked happy coming into terms with his retirement with the Royal Flying Doctor Service this year after spending almost 35 years with them. I smiled looking at them. This was home, with my people. Mom glanced at me, giving me her loving smile and I smiled back. See, love is easy, Jo.