The Sums of Us

Fly Over the Cuckoo's Nest

(HERO)

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another airplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far
From where you are
I wanna come home

(Home, Michael Bublé )

"Fuck you Alin! Fuck her! Fuck her!" Haskell was shouting like a madman. My phone rang again and it was Jaime.

"Hero, are you in your house?" She sounded nervous and shocked. As shocked as I was.

"Yeah.."

"Don't go out. Okay? Nobody know you are in LA, now. Paps going crazy searching for you and somehow they managed to track your house in London."

"What? Fuck's sake!" I shouted.

"Yeah, they had been camping there for a while now but nobody seemed to be there. Look at your Whatsapp. I sent the pictures. Just stay where you are. We will look into the video." She pleaded with me.

"Right. I'll be at home, Jaime. Thanks." I looked at the photos she sent me. Thank God it was my old house. The one I sold to a new owner many months ago. I knew it must be Alin leaking the info to the paps. If she ever revealed where mom lived, I would kill her. Fuck her!

"Have you seen the video?" Haskell asked me. His face flushed and he was clearly furious. My heart felt heavy knowing I would always burden him with my shits, which I shouldn't.

"Yeah, man. What do you think?" I asked him calmly.

"What? What do I think? No. No. Don't play that fucking game of self blame here, FT. That's fucking not you. I don't give a flying fuck if he wore the same gold chains like you or if he has the same build as you, or he is as white as you, or if he is as tall as you, neither if he has the same haircut like you, or the same white ass like you. Man, that bastard in there, is deffo not you!"

"It could be, innit? All seemed like me, Haskell. Everything. Can you see it clearly? Who can say otherwise? It will just be my words against the video." I looked at him as calmly as before. My mind traveled at few minutes backwards, slowly and painfully drowsy. I knew how deep the mess was this time.

"Shut the fuck up! I know you, FT and they could say anything but that's not you in there. Go argue with the wall!"

"That's you saying it because you are my friend. But when people look at it, they would deffo see me, Haskell." I said, rubbing my neck and my head. My phone rang and I saw it was mom. Fuck! Mom must had seen that as well. Good God!

"See you? Fuck it! I know who the man is, FT."

"Seriously? Haskell?" I tried to ignore mom's call.

"Question is, is that you, FT? Answer me? Have you ever did any BDSM sex with her? Or into any BDSM sex with fucking anybody? Answer me!"

"No. Fuck, no!"

"Have you seen Lucas St John? Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, once or twice during fashion shows."

"Well, I have seen him naked for a photo shoot. The same photo shoot where I backed off because I refused to do frontal nudity. I mean, fucked it. Modelling is not some cheap porno magazines they try to sell to fashion houses. I saw him, man. He's having the same height as you, maybe you are an inch or two taller but the difference is so small and not that glaring. He is fond of wearing jewelries like you, like most of British boys do. If you ask me, that's him! That is Lucas St John!" My heart started to pump.