somewhere only we know

friday 8:11pm sander

TW : HOMOPHOBIC SLUR

I am sitting with my guardians and Sam. We are eating in silence. I don't say anything, I just eat. Sam is the only one talking.
- Mom do you think I could enter a swimming team ?
- Who knows ? But you'll probably need to train a lot before entering the team !
- Oh that's right, then I wont, i am too lazy for that ! he laughs
I smile a bit, did he really think he wouldn't need to practice before entering a sport team ?
- Is everything all good Sander ? Do you enjoy the food ? asks Jeff
I loose my smile.
- Yes, it's hum... it's...
Suddenly I see some people in the background with a closer look I distinct Robbe, Jens, Moyo and Aaron.
I immediately try to avoid eye contacts with them but that's too late, they already saw me.
Robbe looks amazing, as always.
- It's ? interrogates me Jeff once again
- It's good, it's really good. I simply answer trying to not look suspicious.

The guys come at us.
- Hey Sander ! Didnt know you liked to hang out here ! says Jens nicely
- Yes, hum... this is my first time here actually.
- You seem to have a lovely family. tells Aaron who is probably trying to be kind
Robbe who knows my parents because he has already seen them once tries to correct him :
- Hum... Aaron... they...
- They're not my family. I admit coldly
- Oh, then what are you doing here with them ? asks Moyo
His question is maybe not meant to be offensive but coming from him, it just gets on my nerves.
- Nothing, we are just eating. I hardly say
- Okk... oh and I wanted to apologize about what I said the other day...
I swear he better not keep going.
- Moyo, don't. tries to convince him Jens
- It wasn't my place to judge-
- Moyo stop ! adds Robbe
- The fact that you like boys, even if it is gross. he finishes

I loose my shit jump off the table and I end up on him, I start hitting him.
- You fucking asshole ! I yell
Jeff tries to take me away from Moyo but I keep beating his horrible face up.
Aaron tries as well to separate us but we keep fighting, i recieve some punches but he takes most of them. His nose is bleeding and so is his cheek.
When they see that I dont stop Jens and Robbe also try to separate us.
- Hey okay he had what he deserved Sander, it was shitty from him now it is enough ! tries to convince me Jens

People from the restaurant come and finally separate us.
Moyo gives me a dirty look, cough blood and say :
- Fagg*t.
- Shut it. I say hardly
- Fa-
- STOP ! yells Jeff. Sander come on we're living, and you, *he looks at Moyo* I hope for you that this is the last time I see you.
We pay and get out of the restaurant. I enter the car and dont say anything.
The whole time we spent in the car was in a total silence, no one talked.

When we arrive at the house, Jeff starts talking :
- Sander we need to talk about that.
I dont answer and just go to my room.
- Sander I am talking to you !
He grabs me by the arm and I immediately have for reflex to close my eyes and take a defensive position to protect myself.
He takes his hand off me. I open my eyes and look at him, he doesnt seem angry, he looks surprised, the look in his eyes is really soft and so is his voice when he says :
- Hey... I am not gonna hit you. Dont worry, I just want to talk, okay ?
I look down on my feet.
- Do you want to talk about it ? asks Mary
- No, not really. I answer
- But we do need to talk about this Sander, explain us, what happened there.
I sight and simply say :
- Some weeks ago i dumped my ex-girlfriend because i had feelings for someone else.
- A boy ? suggest Jeff
I nod.
- I told her the truth and explained her that i used to love her but not anymore and so that i am not gay but i am not straight either. And then she told everyone i was gay. End of the story.
- I am sorry for you Sander. This is really shitty. answers Mary
- Yes I know you find it shitty that i like boys, well i dont give a fuck, now leave me alone. I say before starting to  enter my room.
- No I meant that it was shitty from her to do what she did ! she completes
I stop myself from walking. My dad would've been disgusted by me why arent they ?
Jeff sights, and come at me, and hugs me awkwardly. I dont respond to his hug but he doesnt stop.
After a while he separates himself from me and say :
- We should report this to the school.
- What ?! No ! I yell
- Sander, this is discrimination ! They cant ignore this event !
- It didnt even happen in the school ! What can they do about it ?!
- They need to know, that's it, if it happened at a restaurant then it probably also happened at school and maybe with other students !
- It doesn't matter, what is done is done.
- Yes but what do you have to loose ? Uh ? People already think that you are gay, now they will know that there is an homophobic guy in the school! Sander we are living in the 21st century, most people are against homophobia ! They are gonna be by your side.
I try to think about it but I dont care, I cant think straight right now.
- I dont care, I just want to forget this. I admit before leaving in my room.