somewhere only we know

sunday 12 : 20 am robbe

POV : Robbe

Britt gets out of her room, yesterday Sander was up pretty early, it is weird that he isnt up yet. I decide to go talk to her.
- Hey. I say
- Hey Robbe.
- Hum... is Sander okay?
She prepares a hot chocolate.
- No, he is sick, I think it is because of what he drank yesterday.
It is weird because after I told Sander the kiss wasnt really enough, he completely changed, the fact that he is being sick today I really weird too, it happens just like when Britt told his parents he smoked weed, something happen and then he disappear...

- Is he really sick ? I ask carefully
She frowns.
- What do you mean ?
- Well, is he really sick or is he like mentally not well right now ?
She looks really confused.
- Did Sander tell you...
I decide to lie so maybe I will discover what is happening.
- Yeah he told me some stuffs...
- Like what ?
Shit, I am caught.
- Like... the fact that sometimes he is depressed...

She looks relieved.
- Oh that's it ? Yeah, he is really depressed sometimes, I dont know if he is being depressed right now, i mean he looks a bit depressed but he also looks really pissed.
- About ?
I am pretty sure I am the reason why he is pissed.
- I dont know about that Robbe, he doesn't want to tell me anything, we cant really talk with him when he is like that.
I wait a bit before answering.
- What happens when he is like that ?
- Usually he just stays alone for a day or two, it depends.
- Can I... try to talk to him for a second.

She raises an eyebrow.
- Why ? Do you know what made him in this state ?
- Hum no, it is just... that we became a bit closer and so we're friends now.
She frowns.
- Weren't you already friends ? She asks
- Uh, yeah, yeah we were, but we became closer, you know ?
I am trying to not look suspect
- No, I don't.
I sight.
- Can I talk to him yes or no ?
She looks at me, annoyed and answer :
- If I tell you "no" I am pretty sure it wont stop you, so go on, and see by yourself how happy he will be when you will talk to him !
- So I can go ? I ask once again, unsure
- Yes duh !

Wow she should try to relax a bit maybe she would be more lovely ! How did Sander managed to even like her anyways ??

I come in Sander's room. He seems to sleep, I dont say anything so after a while he says :
- Britt if you're here to look at me please leave.
- Hum it is not Britt actually.
Sander turns at me surprised and asks :
- What the fuck are you doing here ?
Okay Britt was right he isnt as cute as usual.
- I wanted to talk to you.
He laughs ironically.
- To me ? To tell me what ? Uh ? You made yourself very clear yesterday !
- Y- yeah, I know... and I am sorry about that...
He sighs and just say :
- Yeah whatever.

Why on earth is it so hard to explain how I feel ?!

He tells me suddenly :
- Do you have anything else to say or are you done yet ?
Should I really tell him ? I mean of course I should but like is it the right time to tell him ? No no it isnt.
- No... no I am done...
I get up and open the door, but i cant go out, I want to, or maybe i dont, i dont know, but I cant leave without telling him. I close the door and say.
- I like you.
He moves to face me.
- What ?
He looks really confused.
- I like you, and I want to be with you.
- But ?
- But right now, I am with Noor, I need to break up with her before we start anything, and i dont know if I am ready to make it public yet. I am not saying that we cant be together, i am saying that we cant be openly together.
He looks at me carefully, he doesn't show any emotion but it is clear that h eisnt pissed anymore.
- Okay, thanks for telling me.

Is that the only reaction he is giving  me ? What the hell is he thinking ?? Is he okay with what I just said or does he just dont care ???
He turns around and tell me :
- See you tomorrow Robbe, have a good day.

I get out of the bedroom without saying anything else.