somewhere only we know

friday 11:26pm sander

I am laying in my bed with Britt on my shoulder, I softly pet her hair and she seems to enjoy it. I like those moments, me and her, just the two of us but I feel normal, she isn't here to ask me if i took my medicines or something like that, no, she is just here with me.
- Sander ? she asks
- Yeah ?
- I recieved a text from the guys, they are inviting us to a house from someone's parents I didnt really understand. she says with calm
- Yeah I know they invited me too... but honestly I dont know if we should go there...
- Why not ?
She frowns and look at me.
- I think it is gonna be boring, you know barely no one, and I dont want to make a crisis in front of them...

I cant imagine having Robbe discovering that I am bipolar during a week when we're supposed to have fun all together as friends.

- Sander, I trust you, and I know that it will be okay, right ? You can do it, take your medicines, dont smoke try to do nothing crazy, and it will be okay.

I love when she talks to me like that, she is reassuring me and it is so cute from her.

- Promess ? I ask
- Yup ! I swear nothing will happen as long as you take your medicines and dont smoke ! And if something happens dont worry, I'll just say that you are sick and come give you some hot chocolate to make them believe in what I just said !
- Okay... then maybe we're going. I admit feeling better about this party or whatever than I used to

She smiles and kisses me on the nose, she is adorable when she does that.
- Why dont you leave ? I suddenly ask unsure
She looses her smile.
- What ?
- Why are you still here, why didnt you leave like everyone else ?

I need to know why she never left so I will know what I am searching for in Robbe, I need to be sure he wont leave.
- Oh...
She understands what I mean and take a second to think about what she will answer.
- Well I think that most people didnt make their searches about bipolar disorders, they maybe talked about it a bit with some friends and that's it, I think that they just thought about stereotypes and didnt try to understand what you are really going through.

I close my eyes and then open them and say :
- Thanks for trying to understand me.
- Imagine what I would've missed if I didnt inform myself !

She smiles and put her head back on my shoulder. She is too nice, too cute, I cant dump her, not for someone who might run away as soon as he'll know who I truly am.