somewhere only we know

friday 11:32pm sander

I am outside, smoking a cigarette, I breath the fresh air, it feels so good. I am still kinda high from the joints i smoke before.

Someone sits next to me, I look at the person and discover Robbe.
- Great night, uh ? he asks me
- Hum...
He frowns. I look at him and develop :
- I would say "weird night" personally.
- Why ?
- You know, those kind of moments where you are surrounded by people but you feel so alone, as if you were watching the scene from somewhere else ? That's how I felt during the whole night. I couldn't focus on anything, and Britt yelling at me for whatever she thinks isn't okay... it didnt really help.

I look at the horizon while saying the whole thing, I hate that feeling. He is probably gonna think i am crazy anyway.

- Yeah, I know how it feels. he whispers
I frown and stare at him.
- You do ?
- Yeah ! - he laughs ironically - I feel like this everyday or almost. You know as if I can never be completely with people, I feel like no one knows who I truly am.

There is a quick silence that I break.
- I guess when you go through things it is hard to be social and fully in conversations.
- You guess right.

We both look at the horizon until Robbe asks me :
- So where are you from again ?
- Hum I was in a private school, but I couldn't succeed at my final exams because of some issues I had and I still have so they didnt want to keep me in their school another year, so here I am... yay ! I add ironically
- They're dicks, they should've understand. he says honestly

I smile a bit, looks down and say :
- Yeah, hum... actually I didnt say anything about what I was going through to them.
- Why ?

It takes me a few seconds to answer.
- I didnt want them to pity me.

He stares at me for a while before saying :
- Is it that bad ?
I laugh ironically.
- If only you knew.
- Wanna talk about it ?
- Thanks, but no... I dont want to talk about that tonight.
- Okay, then let's not talk about it !

I smile.