somewhere only we know

monday 5:32pm sander

Britt knocks at my door. I can hear my dad opening it.
- Hi Britt, how are you ? he asks
- I am fine, thanks.
I get up from my bed and go to them but then when I hear the rest of the conversation, I stop myself.
- Hum... so what happened to Sander ?asks Britt
- Sander ?
- Yeah, did he got beat up or something ?
- Oh well... you know how it is... he lets a little laugh coming out of his mouth
- No, I dont. she actually seems quite upsets when she says that
- Britt... Britt, you know Sander, right ? You know how crazy he can go ?
- Crazy ? she speaks louder as if she was daring him to confirm what he just said
- Yeah, come on, it is obvious that sometimes...
- You hit him ? she finishes really cold
- Hitting sounds quite like a bad thing, no I would say that I put him in the right way maybe in a little violent way...
- All those times... all those times Sander was pissed at me for telling you what he was doing... it all makes sense ! I knew something was wrong, I suspected it but... I never thought that you were doing it so violently and for barely no reason at all ! This has gotten way too far... I've been so naive, I trusted you ! I thought that you were taking care of him ! It is your son ! You can't just-
- He is my son and it is exactly why I can do what I do.
- You disgust me. she finally admits

I can hear that she is about to cry so I go to her.
- Hey Britt what's up ? Are you okay ?
I try to sound neutral, as if I didn't hear any of the things that has just been said.
- Sander... she starts
- Yeah, wanna come in my room ? I ask
She nods and follows me. We are both sitting on my bed staying silent when she says :
- I am sorry.
- About ?
- I shouldn't have tell every move you made to your parents... it was dumb from me...
- It is okay. I simply answer

God why did she learn about this now?? Just when I decide to break up with her.
- Look Britt, I need to tell you something...
- I know.
- No it isnt what you think. I say
- I know about your dad.
- Yes i know that... i heard your conversation. I admit
- Oh... she actually looks kinda relieved.
- I think that we should stop seeing each other. I say after a moment
- What ?! she seems more surprised than ever
- Recently we just kept fighting and I dont think that we work as a couple anymore...
- But every couple fight... Sander please we cant break up ! I'll be more there for you, I'll listen to what you say, I'll-
- I am sorry Britt... but I took my decision.

She is now crying. After a while she asks the question.
- You dont love me anymore, right ?
I take some time to answer to that.
- I wasn't sure for a long time, I still loved you but more as a friend, you know...
- Did you meet someone ?
I dont answer.
- Who is it ?!
- It's no one !
- Dont you dare telling me that she is no one ! You love her not me ! That's already too much !
I dont think for a second about the consequences of what I am about to say and just explode :
- It doesn't matter he doesn't like me back !

There is a silence. A huge one.

- He ? She finally asks
I sight.
- Yeah, it is a boy.
- So what ? Are you gay now ? Is that why you dont love me anymore ?
- What ? No ! I am not gay but I am not straight either ! There are other sexualities than just those two !
She sights.
- I think I need some fresh air... I am leaving.
- Britt, I am so sorry if only-
- Save it Sander.

She exits the room, and i can hear her leaving my appartment.
At least I told her... but now what ?