Light In My Darkness

31

It felt like I was being pulled by an immense force from both the side. One side it is the unconditional love that I had for Liam and my loyalty towards Lilly, and our years of friendship.

On the other side, it's Ian who was slowly gluing my broken pieces and unclipping my wings, sowing the seeds of hope and happiness in me.

All these emotions were ripping me off, and guilt was wearing me down alive.

I stared at our enterlaced finger, the way his fingers were entangled around mine was fulfilling, he helped me to stand on my feet draping one of his around my shoulder whereas the one was clasped on my palm.

"Ready?" He asked looking directly into my eyes.

I pass him a nod, I wanted to forget everything just for a few hours, and be with him in an unrestricted way just like a bird that flies in the open sky.

Every step that I took was synchronized with his, the snow that drizzled a few hours ago formed a white pathway welcoming us as we walked by the riverside listening to the clattering sound of water that was streaming along with us.

The Blue Moon discretely followed us everywhere as though it was emitting it's light just so that we wouldn't get lost. The fully bloomed moon was evoking all kinds of emotion in me.

"Look at them," I said, pointing towards the flying fishes that were hopping in and out of water spreading their wings, a smirk adorned his face when I failed miserably to pronounce the name of the fish.

I like this side of him.

As time passed everything around us gradually started coming to life, the little town that we were in was twinkling with golden fairy lights, lanterns, and tall trees were swaddled with lengthy glimmering lights with the hot grey smoke puffing out from the chimneys.

Christmas is here.

I peeked at a bunch of people who gathered around a small campfire.

People standing in there swayed their heads left and right holding their loved ones closely drowning themselves in the mellifluous singing of an old man who was simultaneously playing the guitar where as the other one was tapping his hands on the clap box.

"Let's stay here for some time," I whisper, my lips were quivering, the cold wind was biting my skin.

"Fine, stay right here. I'll be back." That was all he said before moving away.

I close my eyes sucking in a deep breath listening to them, the warmness of the fire, the soulful words of the song soaking into my heart, and his faint smell that were lingering around me.

Staring at the moon, so blue
Turning all my thoughts to you
I was without hopes or dreams
I tried to dull an inner scream, but you,
Saw me through.

I felt my eyes getting hot and heavy by the end of the song. I bite my bottom lips swallowing the tears with eyes clenched, but, I couldn't.

Ian was the only one who I could think of, his eyes as blue as the moon shining above us was the only thing that was flashing repeatedly.

My eyes searched for him, I smile adoringly when my gaze settled on Ian's tall figure at a distance brushing my tear-stained face, his presence alone calms me and tames all of my sensitive emotions that are scattered otherwise.

I wiggled my head, his shoulder was stiff with a face straight not letting an ounce of emotion flash through and it was proof that the person on the other end of the phone was having a bad day, not everyone is fortuitous enough to witness this side of him. A soothing side of him that comes out when he is with me.