Tangled (Irondad Spiderson)

21: Exhausted

Peters POV:

I swing my way to the tower. my heart beating out of anxiety. What will Tony say? Will he be mad? This is so embarrassing.
I make it to my window, and I can see that my light is on. Tony is sitting on the end of my bed, leg shaking. I panic, it felt like I couldn't move. I hid out of sight from the window and swung onto a taller part of the tower above me.

I coudn't bare to talk to Tony about this, and if I did talk to him, he would try to talk me out of doing what needs to be done.
I take off my mask and perch myself on the edge of the rooftop, looking at the city below. I start to cry, tears effortlessly falling down my cheeks.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to die. Yet at the same time, I don't want to live. I'm so fucking tired.  The world will be okay without spider-man, they've got the Avengers.

I stand up, taking a deep breath and trying to stop my crying when I hear noise behind me. I don't turn around.

"Kiddo, what are you doing up here?" Tony asks. "FRIDAY told me you were up here and your heart is beating a million miles per hour, what's going on?"
I stay silent for a moment, then turn around, looking at Tony with guilt.

"Pete, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Tony starts to step closer.

"Stay where you are! Don't come any closer." I half-shouted at him. He freezes and puts his hands up.

"Okay, I'm not moving. Pete, we can talk about whatever is going on, but please get away from that ledge, you're scaring me." Tony had more caution in his voice than ever.

"I-I don't wanna talk anymore. I'm exhausted Mr. Stark. Nothing is getting better, a-and I don't know how to fix it. I don't think I can."

"Kid, I know things are hard but please, we all care for you and want to see you happy." Tony was begging at this point. I felt awful for doing this to him, but it won't matter, I'll be dead soon. I take a deep breath, and try to stop my crying. Looking up at the sky, I smiled a little. The sky was so clear you could almost see little galaxies scattered in the pitch black.

"You know, you were right Mr. Stark..." I turn my head away from the sky to face Tony, putting on my mask.

"The view is better from the tower. I'm glad I was able to see it tonight."

I turn around, closing my eyes, and let myself fall off the edge. I heard Tony scream behind me, then all I heard was the sounds of wind against my ears. I kept my eyes closed, waiting for the moment I'll find peace. I hear the sound of small rockets approaching me, and I feel metal hands catch me from my fall. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't want to see what was happening, because then that made it more real.

Why didn't I think this through? Of course he was able to catch me, and I hate it. I wish he'd just let me go.
We arrive at the tower, and he's still holding me. We enter my room, and he lays me down on my bed. He flips up his mask, and I just stay laying on my side, looking at anything but him.

"Kid what the HELL is going on?! You need to start talking, I want to help. Seeing you do what you just did absolutely shatters me. What's going through your goddamn head?!"
I stay silent. I don't want to deal with this.

-

Authors note:

Hey guys! I'm out of residential treatment and doing much much better! I will no longer be living with my stepmom, I'm doing much better with my eating disorder, and I've started testosterone!! (I'm non-binary, I go by they/them, and I've waited a while to start T!) I plan on trying to add some plot to this story when I get the chance, so if you have any suggestions comment them below! Thank you all for your kindness 💖