Tangled (Irondad Spiderson)

22: No More Avoiding

I wake up on my bed, still wearing my suit. I must've fallen asleep.
Then it clicked. Everything that happened last night. I'm gonna have to talk to Tony. I can't keep avoiding him.

I sigh and change into grey sweatpants and a white T-/shirt with a red flannel on top. I slowly open my door and see if Tony is awake. I don't see him.
So I walk out into the kitchen and look for something to eat.

"Good mornin kiddo."
Tony startled me. I didn't see him laying on the couch. Did he sleep there?

"Morning." I say. I continue to make myself a bowl of cereal, avoiding eye contact, trying to pretend like nothing happened last night.

"Kid...we have to talk about this. Please. I want to understand." Tony said. It sounded like he moved to the kitchen island behind me.

"I-....I know. I just...I don't know where to start. I don't know HOW to start. I'm scared."
I feel tears start to form as I stared at the cereal box in front of me, not wanting to turn around.
I sigh at the silence knowing Tony wants me to try anyways.

"Okay, I'll try to give you the short version of things. You already know about Aunt May's death, and my depression has gotten pretty unbearable lately. So bad that I never texted MJ or Ned. They think I'm some snobby, selfish person who's too busy living with a rich guy and being a superhero to spend time with them. I tried to explain that it's not that to MJ, but she broke up with me before I even got a word in. I haven't heard from Ned, so I'm assuming he thinks the same of me, at least that's what MJ hinted at. I keep messing up. I try to do good, but I just end up embarrassing myself. I feel like scum of the earth."

I anxiously wait Tony's response.

"I'm sorry Pete. I didn't know you were going through all of this."

I get up, leaving the cereal on the counter.

"It doesn't matter. I've already lost my Aunt and now MJ and Ned. I can't do anything to change it."
I start walking towards my room.

"Have you thought about talking to MJ? Explaining yourself?" Tony said softly.

"I honestly don't know if I want to talk to her. The last thing I need is to get attached to something I could lose again. I'm tired of getting my hopes up."

I reach my bedroom door and before I close it I hear Tony walk up behind me. He puts his hand on the door, keeping it open.

"I hate to be this way, but if you're feeling this depressed I think you need to leave your door open."
I scoff.

"Are you fucking serious?" I ask.
Tony was shocked at my language.

"Yes, I am. It's for your safety-"

"For my safety?? My safety is MY decision. All I want is a little control in my life."
Tony pushes the door open further.

"Son, you gotta understand that I'm worried. You don't usually act like this."
Son? He called me son? Even though that made me feel a flutter of happiness, it immediately made me think of how I've lost my entire family.

"I'm NOT your son and you are NOT MY FATHER! So quit acting like you care so much! All my real family is dead and I'll never get to have them back!"
I'm sobbing and yelling at Tony. It's quite embarrassing thinking others in the tower could hear me, but I didn't care. I was hurt and needed to get it out.

"Kid, I know you're upset. You're hurt. Even though what you said tore my non-existent heart out, I love you like a son, and want you to be safe and happy. I'm not going anywhere."
My crying became almost so uncontrollable that I was faint from hyperventilating. I just gave up and collapsed on the floor, not having the energy or will to move.

Tony slowly opens the door, and crouches down to me on the floor. I hug my knees to my chest and look away and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"You're not alone. Your pain is real, and I'm here to help you in any way I can. I'm here to believe in you when you can't."

I stay silent.

"You tired or just ignoring me?"
He said sassily.

"Exhausted."
I whisper back. I then feel him put a warm blanket over me while putting a pillow next to my head. He turns off the light, then leaves the door cracked.

I wake up a few hours later, sore from sleeping on the floor. I got up and left my room to find Tony sitting in the hallway.
I approach him, avoiding eye contact.

"I'm sorry for what I said."
My voice is raspy from crying. I'm too scared and embarrassed to move. Then I feel arms around me.

"It's okay. You were upset. I'm sorry for invading your privacy a bit, I'm just so scared of losing you kiddo."
Tony's voice cracks and I can tell he's holding back tears. I hug him back.

"I'm scared of how I'm acting, Dad. I need help."
I start silently crying.

"I'm here. We'll get you some help, I promise. For now, let's just try to eat something and rest for a bit okay?"
I nod and we walk into the kitchen. Nothing sounded good, so I just had a bowl dry cereal while Tony had some eggs.

We finish our breakfast, then sit in the living room.

"Okay Pete, I'm gonna make some phone calls and find someone to help with how you're feeling. Do you mind staying in the living room please?"
I nod and lay on the couch, with a blanket over me and the TV on.
I watch some animal documentaries and random cartoons as I heard others start to enter the kitchen for breakfast. I pretend to be asleep to avoid conversation, as I'm pretty sure they were able to hear my breakdown.