The Oval Office ✓ (Book One)

Chapter Sixty Two

It starts, like any trial, with everybody taking their seats. I avoid eye contact with who the other side is today, fearing I might snap, but I can almost feel him staring at me- pleading with me to do something.

And I know I shouldn't feel bad for him. Every cell in my body is screaming at me to regurgitate every detail. How he knocked me out so well that I didn't wake up for hours. How he- somebody who'd seen almost every panic attack I'd had since he started working for us, still continued with the plan. How he only snapped when they were about to rape me again.

Still, I can't help it. This is a man that saved my life more than once by directly risking his own- somebody whom I never would've gotten out of there without. I glance at him for less than a second, and the look in his eyes says it all. "I'm sorry." I imagine him begging for forgiveness. Stop being such a fucking empath.

You're sorry? You're fucking sorry?

To be fair, if it were Kyle they had, I'd probably go along with it too, but it's not James I feel bad for. It's her. Christ- James was supposed to be protecting her from her psycho brother. I wonder if she thought, towards the end, that it would've been better if she'd just took her chances with a normal life.

Amber. He was thirteen. A literal fucking child. The same age as my sister- even looked kinda like her too. I wasn't there when the prime minister saw the pictures, but I keep playing it back in my head as if I were. And it's my fault too. Maybe if I'd made him stay put, he would still be alive.

I look away, pulling my hair to the side so neither of us have to wonder if we're side-glancing at each other. There's nothing I'd like more than to punch James and send him to a different country across the world so I never have to look at him again, but that's not how this works.

"You can still back out of this." Joe whispers. "But once it's started.. you're in it until the sentences are heard."

"I know-"I nod. "I'm not a fucking coward."

In a controversial move, as the only living victim- I chose Joe to represent us.

"What does it matter who I want to be his lawyer?"I remember the conversation I had with Minster Garland. "He's dead. No sentence is going to bring my son back."

He's really not doing well, especially for somebody who wasn't there. I'd say he's worse off- mentally at least, than me. We expect him to resign within the week. I pick at my nails, patiently waiting on the judge. She's known to be tough but fair on the sentencing. In other words- if you actually did it, you're getting the maximum sentence for that particular crime and you're fucked.

As of now, before the trial's even started, it's not looking too good for James.
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  "The defendant may now make his opening statement."the judge says, sitting back like she's watching reality tv. To be fair, she might as well be with the publicity of this case.  James stands up and the secret service agents positioned around the courtroom uncomfortably shift, all of their eyes darting straight to him. If he were alone with three or four of them, he could probably take every last one out without sweating. But with over fifty of the heavily armed division  present, plus those observing, he knows better.

  A couple members of Congress are in the back, ready to watch the trial play out- but for the most part the area that could hold up to a hundred observers is empty. With the security concerns, the general public hasn't been allowed access to the courtroom, but since the right to observe in court is protected by the first amendment, the entire trial is being covered by each news station. "Imagine the ratings they're going to get after this." I think.