Storm // dreamnotfound

12- Almost Unforgiving

-Nick's POV-

After Rose left, I took a few minutes to think and reflect. I sat on the hanging swing on the front porch. It was fairly new and large. Rose helped my mum pick it out when we all went to a furniture store together. I had a feeling that would be the last time we would be together. Sadness sprung from somewhere deep inside me. It brought tears to my eyes but I managed to swallow them down. I heard the front door open to my left and I sat upright. "Hey mom, whats up?" I knew that if she started the conversation, she'd start it with something that I didn't feel like answering.

"Hey sweet, how did it go?" she asked quietly sitting down on a rocking chair in front of the swing. I looked down at my hands and drew in a big breath before talking.

"It went well. It was a mutual thing and she said once we're both ready again, we could possibly try us again. But for now we're just good friends." my voice cracked at the end and she took it as a signal that I was upset. I looked back up to meet her eyes.

"I know how hard it can be, and you did the right thing. It seems to me like it's a 'right person, wrong time' thing, like I tell you all the time. Let her know that I wish her well and thank her for me." She lifted her arm up to mine and gave it a little rub and left to go back inside.

After I took some more time to chill, I shot Clay a text, letting him know that Rose and I were finished with our chat and he could come over. He replied with a simple "k" almost immediately.

I hope he's not mad. It's understandable, but i'm hoping this goes as well as mine and Rose's talk went. Time went by quietly. I sat still on the porch swing still thinking of what I wanted to say. I'm sorry for threatening you? No that's too vague. I'm sorry for acting like an asshole of a friend? Ok better... I'm sorry for acting the opposite of how a friend should be and I completely understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. That's good enough. I didn't understand why it was so hard to come up with an apology. He was supposed to be the easiest to apologize to. Why is apologizing so hard in the first place?

Some more time went by and he eventually showed up. The time was around 8:15 pm on a Friday. I honestly wasn't expecting both of them to turn up. He got out of his car and walked around to the passenger side. Unlike Rose, he didn't want to come any closer than that. (He was parked next to the curb, standing on the passenger side which was closer to the front yard than the drivers side)

"Hey Clay." I started to talk. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I had no idea what kind of impact my actions and words had on you guys." C'mon you just rehearsed this, just speak up about what you were thinking! My mind was in a million different places. I started to get uncomfortably warm. "Look... Clay... I've been such an asshole friend, and I know there's no excuse for it. I understand if you dont wanna talk anymore and I'm changing. After we spoke at George's house, it opened me and I realized how bad I've been." That's it. That's all I could say. I didn't know how he'd take it, and I was terrified of what he would say next.

"Well..." He blew out a big huff of air. "I wasn't expecting this. I came here expecting to get yelled at for talking to George." he rubbed the back of his neck. The tensions between us were high as expected, but for some reason it feels like it's not going as good as I hoped. "Ok listen. I'm so happy you realize that you're a shit person, and as much as I want to forgive you, which I'm sure I will soon, you have someone to apologize to who deserves it much more. And until you guys are on good enough terms, I won't be able to fully forgive you. I really appreciate your apology but like I've said, I don't know how easy it will be." I felt part of me rip in half, straight down the middle. My friend won't forgive me until someone else does. It made sense the more I thought about it but it frustrated me slightly.