Beautiful Joy

1

360 days later

Beep beep beep beep.

The worst sound in the world wakes me. I turn over and hit the alarm off hoping it does not wake my sisters.

I slip out of our room with arm full of clothes and head to the bathroom. I'm normally a morning person but happy memory's of the past flooded my dreams making me fill exhausted this morning.

Fully dressed I head to the kitchen in search of dad. He's already waiting at the table with pancakes and coffee for me.

Since I was 10 it's been our morning routine to eat breakfast together and talk before he leaves for work. Owning his own construction business means he works long hours and this was a way for me to get time alone with dad.

I take a sip of coffee, the heat and aroma instantly make me feel more alive.

"Hmmm thanks dad" I say and lean into his open arms for a hug.

"Morning sweetie, how did you sleep?"

"Ok" with the mention of sleep I let out an involuntary yawn. Dad nods but doesn't investigate. 

It's been 3 months since my mom died, she was there one day buzzing thru the house, cooking dinner, planning parties, being super mom and then nothing. I still feel like it's not real.

That day she had mentioned she had a headache and asked me to watch my two younger sisters while she took a "power nap". Me and the girls were going to surprise her with dinner. When I went to wake her she was already gone. I remember sending the girls next door but everything after is a blur: calling the ambulance, attempting CPR, dad showing up. The doctor had told us that there was nothing we could have done to prevent it or help her. He explained other than her headache she felt no pain and it was quick.

Dad and me chat and joke for a few more minutes about nothing and everything. Dad and I have always been close. He is not my biological father but he is my dad. I can hardly remember a time before him. He met my mom when I was three, and when they got married a year later he gave my mom a ring and me a necklace. The gold heart shape necklace currently around my neck with an engraving on the back that says 'Always remember dad loves you'.

I adored him so much as a child, there was no doubt I was a daddy's girl. We both share a calm, laid back attitude and dry sense of humor. We are the quiet ones in our family, the 'thinkers' my mom always said. My younger sisters are more like our mom, talkative and outgoing with an endless supply of energy.

"What time do you think you will be home tonight? School starts in two weeks and i wanted to take Faith and Jewel to pick out a backpack. I was hoping to make it fun for them."

This is our first year in public education, I turn 15 this week and I'm a year ahead in school so I will be a junior. Faith is 9 and will be in fourth grade and Jewel is 6 and will be in first. I'm not too worried about my sisters, they have a few friends from the neighborhood that are in their classes and are both excited for the new adventure. I on the other hand, am a nervous wreck, but am trying to not let it show. My 2 best friends Kate and Max will be there and that is the only thing keeping me semi-calm.

Dad pulls out his phone to check his schedule, he frowns as he looks down at at. "It might be a later night, I have a site that is close to done. The couple was hoping to be into it in the next 2 weeks." My dad and his childhood best friend, Jack, own a construction company together. They are both hard workers but it means they put in a lot of hours for their company, JJ Construction (named after my dad- Jacob and his friend/partner Jack). His hard work made it possible for mom's dream of staying home and homeschooling us possible.

I try not to make him feel worse than I can already tell he feels. Mustering up as much excitement as I can "Max said he and Kate were going out to buy supplies today. I'm sure Max could drive us too."

"That sounds like a good idea, we can meet up after for dinner, I should be done by then." Dad smiles and pulls out his wallet, he hands me his credit card.

"Make sure you get yourself and the girls a new outfit too."

I take the card, "thanks dad".

He kisses my forehead, before leaving for work.