All Or None

Chapter 2

▪️BENNET▪️

My knuckles whitened as I struggled to do the last pull up on the horizontal bar between my door frame. Muscles contracted with the strain, leaving me no choice but to focus all my attention on lifting my chin above the bar. I finished up my third set with a grunt and literally felt my body aching from head to toe. Today I was in the mood to push myself. Lately it seemed more often than not that that was the case. I felt restless, it was hard to get control of the emotions I so easily mastered in the past. I wiped the sweat off my brow and took a deep breath and went back to my train of thought. I didn't want to be weak, and it wasn't physically as much as mentally. I prided myself on being self controlled and not letting my baser instincts drive my life. If asked, I knew exactly why. I didn't want to be like my father. I had spent the first half of my life being hurt by his selfishness and immaturity and the last half picking up the pieces and trying my best to be the man that he couldn't be. My mom always said she named me Bennet partly because it meant "blessed" and partly because it was a gentleman's name. I always laughed her off when she talked like that but the truth was I believed her and wanted to live a life that made her proud. Being raised by a single mom taught me to respect and protect the women around me. Her strength of character propelled me to want to be better. Where someone else would look at me and write me off as my fathers son I was able to see myself through her eyes. It wasn't easy considering I looked like a bad boy and probably acted like one too. I was cocky and strong willed and combined with my sense of humor I usually gave people the wrong impression. The truth was that I was a little bit of both, and maybe that was the problem. I struggled to find a happy medium all the while being haunted by my fathers choices. Yet lately it was harder to hold off the doubt like I used to.

My thoughts were brought back to the present moment with a knock on the front door. Thinking it was probably just my room mate Wes who forgot his key, I didn't think anything about opening the front door in just my sweat pants. The minute I saw Leah standing there instead of Weston I felt off balance. She looked beautiful as always yet something seemed different. Wanting to ask but knowing it would be inappropriate coming from me I motioned her inside with a nod and kept my mouth shut. Her reaction was to shift her bag further on her shoulder and ask to come in. It was obvious that I made her feel uncomfortable standing there sweaty and half naked and yet a part of me bristled at her response. I didn't stop to analyze why. Feeling the need to get away I stepped back and invited her in.

"Sorry about that, I thought you were Wes."

Barely meeting my gaze she nodded
and when she spoke I knew something was wrong. She sounded horse and tired.

"It's no problem, I hope I'm not interrupting."

I gave her a slight probing look and responded without answering the question.

"Wes and Vee should be back any minute."

Weston was my buddy and Sylvia and Leah were best friends. We all went to the last two years of high school together although Leah and Vee knew each other longer than that. It was a natural progression to hang out once Wes and Vee started dating and after all was said and done we had stayed friends. Although Leah and I had never been close and at this point I was man enough to know why.

She nodded and I turned around to leave, walking quickly to my room to take a shower. Being around the woman made me want to grind my teeth and now was no exception. She was beautiful and feminine with a smart mind and one hell of a personality...and she was completely off limits. Suddenly my workout seemed insignificant in the process to let off steam. I felt agitated all over again but I refused to give her one more thought. I was stronger then this and I. Would. Not. Go. There.