My Confidate

Chapter 7

"Jis dil wich sajan bas jaye
Us dil te zulam kamai da nhi
Jado pyaar kise naal pa laiye
Ohnu kaleyan chad k jai da nhi
Tainu ki dasa tu jaan da nhi
Eh pyaar di gall Freeda
Jehra zakhm dilbar yaar deve
Us zakhm te marham lai da nai."

"You couldnt watch her cry so you left her alone to do the same?" Aditiya questioned looking at me in almost anger. I look up at him, the realization dawning upon myself. The decision to break contact with her hadnt been very smart. Not smart at all to say the least. "She won't have been alone" I murmur more for myself than him. Gautam and Shehbaaz would have been there. As much as I despised Gautam for my own reasons I knew better than to believe that he wouldve left. Perhaps he'd helped her out, given her the love she deserved.... perhaps she moved on with him. I clench my eyes shut at the thought. That was the last thing I needed on my mind right now.

"If she loved you too, then she was alone no matter however many people there were Sidharth." He mumbled evidently exasperated from hearing the complete bullshit I was saying. I knew I wouldnt make sense to him, or anyone for that matter. Anyone but Shehnaaz. She was the only one that found my words without me displaying them on a tray for her. "Living apart was the best for the both of us, Aditiya. Tujhe nhi samajh aayega" I sigh getting up and taking out a change of clothes for myself to wear to the airport.

A - "Can I stay back to meet her?"

I look back at him, reading the expression on his face for a few seconds before giving him a short nod. He wouldn't make things any worse than they already were. I'd steal away the chance before he'd even get to it, not that he'd ever mean to anyway. I shut my closet moving back to the bed hearing him step out. The thought of what she looked like after all the years rising through all of the others. I wanted to know so much, too much almost. The questions now forming in my mind. I wondered if she was still the extremely talkative child, stuck inside an older body. I hoped she was. I also wondered what our first interaction would be like. Anything I'd seen of her on social media spoke of elegance, grace and professionalism. I wanted to know if she'd act the same way with me too. I didn't think I'd be able to take it if she did. Having her behave like a stranger would hurt like hell yet perhaps that was all I now deserved.

I head downstairs putting on my shoes, grabbing my keys and wallet from the counter before heading into the kitchen to bid mom goodbye. "Main saath chalu?" Aditiya asked following me into the kitchen.

"Nhi. Aur bhi awkward ho jayega. Ghar pe hi leke aa raha hu yaha mil lena" I mumble grabbing a glass of water.

SM - "Abhi jayega?"

I hum picking up one of the pieces of toast I'd left in the plate earlier. "Uska number lete jaa nhi toh waha problem hogi dhund ne mein" she suggests as I head further out to the hall. "Hai mere paas" I mumble unlocking the door, stepping outside before she could say anything else. I didn't want to explain where I'd gotten her number from or the fact that I'd blocked her until a few years ago wanting to distance her for the benefit of the both of us. Stupid, I know. But I couldn't get myself to perhaps hold her back from everything I knew she had the potential to do if she focused on herself and not me. Now however I regretted the same. She'd turned into the overly professional person she'd never wanted to be. I'd promised her we wouldn't but that promise too had joined all the others.

I drive down the much to familiar roads, remembering having driven home with the entire family for the first time 7 years ago. The memory of both my parents smiling all the way down, the ride being the jolliest one the family had taken however I sat completely quiet, staring outside the window, following the line of shops and beaches. Thoughts of her had clouded my mind then too, almost just as much as right now. However I was younger then, 18 wasn't an ideal age for a love that we'd felt. I hated life for it every now and then however I'd grown to realize I was at fault. I sigh pulling up into arrivals, parking in the line of cars, reaching for my phone. She had landed around 5 minutes ago most probably collecting her stuff right now. I open the contacts log, scrolling down to the number I knew by heart. I look around at the hastily moving people outside, taking a deep breath before dialling her number.